#and that can absolutely lower my bp a little bit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crystalelemental · 1 year ago

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Eggmon Teambuilding - Paldea Starters

Tomorrow we get a new Egg event, and this one is actually kinda neat. We've had a few good ones before, specifically in the Magikarp and the Meowth lines. Meowth really only had relevance through Perrserker having special Steel damage, though. Magikarp was more notable, due to high flinch/rain support Tech, and Hyper Beam Striker. Odd how it's Strike, usually the worst form, that gets the attention. But now we get the Paldea starters, and oh man, am I kinda hyped about this one. I imagine many are, for the same reason.

General Overview This will be a triple feature, similar to the Eevee Day Variety Scouts. All three of them operate pretty identically, so they're easy to lump together.

Strike Form will give each of them the strongest 3-bar move of their type (Leaf Storm, Overheat, Hydro Pump) with passives that negate their drawbacks (Pinpoint Entry 1/Dauntless, Piercing Gaze), and multipliers for on-type (Double Down 2, Superduper Effective 1). Offenses are set at 360, which isn't great but there's been worse. It's equivalent to Gyarados and Perrserker, so while you won't deal quite as much as they do given the lower BP, this puts them in "at least worth talking about" range.

Tech Form is some kind of disruptive effect. Sprigatito absolutely aces this one with the 60% flinch rate Bite, while Fuecoco has to deal with 30% burn/flinch, and Quaxly gets Growl. I'd say Fuecoco lost this round, personally.

Support is the big one though. You get field effects. That's right, F2P Grassy Terrain, just add cat. Sprigatito absolutely wins this one, as the only F2P aligned way to set this effect. Quaxly has Rain Dance, so it at least has merit for Moltres, while Fuecoco has Sunny Day which very few things need so it's kinda redundant. By buffs, Sprigatito can max team Sp Atk with a bit of Speed, Quaxly can max team speed with a bit of Sp Atk, and Fuecoco is that Dragonair mix of a little of both with a little of crit. Their buffing kits are, if nothing else, salvageable. But like all eggmons, they suck at taking hits. 206 defenses with HP that can be considered Roxanne-esque is not going to solve anyone's issues, especially in the modern CS meta of "if you can't disable field effects, you have to take Offenses +5." They will die horribly, and need a good Tech to frontline for them.

What's interesting about these three is that they kind of highlight what's fun about eggmons. Strikers suck, but sometimes you want to see how far you can push something, and they at least have workable traits. Tech pairs are the universal best because they don't have to do much, but supply a useful effect like flinching. Supports are absolute shit tier garbage, but sometimes you gotta, and at least these ones have like...actual, serious business effects of value. The oddity, however, is that the Support having field effect does little. Usually, that's nice because it compresses the boosting and the weather into the same slot, which is the one taking damage. These idiots cannot take damage. Like, at all. So you really have to teambuild cautiously with them.

Sprigatito Sprigatito's three forms all have merit. It is, in my mind, the best of the three. But that doesn't mean it's all great. As a Strike pair, there are plenty of strong Grass-types in F2P, with Lodge Sycamore and Gardenia being direct competition in Leaf Storm. As a Tech, Bite's flinch rate is valuable, but no more so than any of the other two dozen eggmons that exist for flinch. Support is really what stands out about Sprigatito thanks to Grassy Terrain. The first F2P source of this skill, and it's an eggmon. Cruel.

Appropriately, what holds it back is the Eggmon's Curse. Strikers have no real multipliers on grid and atrocious self-setup, so being specially inclined is a very challenging time. And Supports have no defensive merit. It will die to any hit, especially given the parameters it has to run to make use of Terrain. As a result, Sprigatito suffers being a worse Striker than Lodge Sycamore, and only arguably on par with Gardenia depending on your stance on her Sun reliance. Meanwhile, as a supportive option, it's let down by its potential partners. The decision to cap team special attack instead of speed was a foolish one, giving it very few partners worth discussing, as Grass is a majority physical type with all the meta dominant forces being physical, and many it could help requiring crit. Moreover, this means it contends with BP Barry, who is frankly ridiculous as a support. It's very difficult for Sprigatito to stand out. It wants to produce Grassy Terrain, and sure, it does. But its special attack boosting often goes wasted as a tradeoff.

Team 1: Support Sprigatito, SS Morty, Gardenia Sprigatito in support form is a sort of savior to Gardenia, who has long suffered. The 12.5k meta made her Sun reliance a horrific flaw for F2P compositions, Lodge Sycamore produces fairly comparable results on DPS with less fuss, and the compression wonder SS Acerola provided does nothing for a specially offensive pair. Gardenia's life has been hard. So it's kinda nice to see Sprigatito partner with her so well. Supplying Grassy Terrain and the needed special attack that Morty struggles to buff turns Gardenia into a powerhouse. Her damage was always respectable, it was just getting her where she wanted to go. Sprigatito does that perfectly.

Team 2: Support Sprigatito, SS Leaf/Adaman, SC Rosa/SS Erika Sprigatito also combos well with Tech pairs that have their own defensive merit. Adaman immediately comes to mind as a Sun setter, who is already stupid overpowered, even without Terrain. With it? Now we're just getting silly. But, SS Leaf is also worth mentioning for her defensive merit and healing potential. SC Rosa is a great partner, needing the little bit of special attack support Sprigatito offers, and making great use of speed buffs with her high base speed. Rosa's also worthy of discussion due to her rapid special attack debuffing. While Sprigatito will not take hits worth beans, debuffs and a good RNG roll for X items can let it survive long enough to make the most of its set.

Team 3: Strike Sprigatito, SC Jasmine, Lucian Should you opt for Strike Sprigatito for...some reason...you'll need full offensive support. As my universal go-to for this, SC Jasmine is fantastic. Two turns to capped crit and special defense, with plenty of special attack to boot. Lucian complements SC Jasmine beautifully, with attack debuffs salvaging her weaker defensive stat, and special defense drops pumping Sprigatito's damage as far as it'll go.

Fuecoco Sorry, Fuecoco fans, but this one is the worst of the set. Well, in broad utility terms, anyway. Grass has plenty of Strike options, but it has nothing on Fire. Poor Tech abilities with measly 30% chances won't impress anyone. And Sunny Day already exists on a Support, who happens to be one of the best in the game. Hell, Sun in general is exceptionally common. I think it's the most common weather effect in the game, given how many across Fire and Grass call it. Fuecoco doesn't strictly stand out.

While Fuecoco's Sun means supporting both Fire and Grass, its decision to give only some special attack, speed, and crit rate is questionable. It can complete those who only need a bit, but more often than not, I find capping specific stats more valuable. At the very least, you'd want crit and the offensive stat on the same button, rather than separate. But it doesn't get that. As a result, its options are notably few. They do exist, but not as plentifully as you'd hope for.

Team 1: Support Fuecoco, Evelyn, Anni N Anni N is a particularly nice choice for Fuecoco to support. The +1 crit saves N a turn, and the added speed can be huge for his gauge control. In Gauntlet, I imagine Fuecoco will be a common Duo partner to N, whose debuffing of offenses will serve it well. In CS, though...yeah, you want a real tank. And Fire doesn't have real tanks outside of SS Morty, who is fairly redundant, and Evelyn. That said, Evelyn has merit. 20% bonus damage on Blue Flare is a solid chunk, and her defensive profile is quite good. With the speed boosts Fuecoco can provide, this offers a decent bit for a dual support.

Team 2: Strike Fuecoco, NC Leaf/Eevee Lucas, SC Jasmine/SS May Much like Sprigatito, Fuecoco needs full offensive support to do its striker deal. Unlike Sprigatito, Fuecoco has a billion Sun setters to work with too. NC Leaf bears first mention, due to my constant need to remind everyone that she's actually a phenomenal tank. And it is this tanking that can set things apart. SC Jasmine buffs Fuecoco if you want to aim for it to deal damage primarily, but SS May can provide its needed crit rate, letting it focus on X Sp Atk, with plenty of speed buffing to keep gauge high. NC Leaf/SS May combo wins again! It's also worth noting Eevee Lucas, who can happily take sync, and whose 3/5 grid also supplies special defense debuffs.

Quaxly Quaxly played it smart. While Rain is not exactly rare, its presence is always appreciated over Sun, due to the Moltres Dilemma, and how many CS stages use Sun, Hail, and Sandstorm. Mysteriously, Rain feels largely absent. Quaxly has a lot more opportunity to make use of its weather as a result. In addition, its decision to run Speed boosting to cap worked in its favor, with +2 special attack aligning nicely to the current meta dominant Water types.

Quaxly is interesting in that I don't think it enables anything specifically, but unlike the other two it has legitimate claim to meta relevancy. And I mean that sincerely. Running Quaxly could be, in some capacity, a smart meta decision. Sprigatito can do, depending on its partners, as can Fuecoco. But Quaxly feels best aligned.

Team 1: Support Quaxly, SS Misty, NC Serena/SS Lysandre As noted, the top meta performers love Quaxly. NC Serena and SS Lysandre get the exact boosts they need, with speed being particularly valuable to Lysandre. Add in Rain, and they have all they need. Like usual, tanking is questionable, and thus we turn to SS Misty, whose EX stats are better than Quaxly's best, and whose trainer move boosts both of her defenses by 2. Even better, Misty offers a means of offsetting offense: Haze allows the Five Stats +3 parameters which can be instantly removed, instead of taking Offenses +5, allowing them to tank more effectively.

Team 2: Strike Quaxly, SS Kris, Lodge May Like the others, Quaxly needs Sp Atk/crit support like crazy. Unlike the others, Quaxly has full SS Kris privileges, enjoying her buffs and the rain. Lodge May is an acceptable partner on-type, with Surf to easily chunk sides, setting up for Quaxly's denials, or letting Quaxly ignore sides entirely to hammer center with Hydro Pump. Gauge is a bit of an issue, but Quaxly does boost its own speed, and SS Kris can get Team Swift Reaction if needed.

Final Thoughts This is a fairly fun egg group. I like them.

Sprigatito has the rarest tool in Grassy Terrain, but a lot of problems by association. The decision for full Sp Atk hinders its utility overall, but does serve as a nice partner to Gardenia, who's been begging for help. The Tech set, while not discussed, also has the most utility. Gauntlet stages are often easily cheesed by flinch chaining, and a high flinch rate will always hold significant value.

Fuecoco feels a little awkward to me. I think its offensive set is fine for meshing with Sun's notorious ability to Dual or Tri Strike, but its support feels unimpressive and its Tech role is downright poor. It's worth considering, but it definitely feels like it does the least.

Quaxly feels like the most consistent. It's surprisingly well aligned to the current Water meta, both on support and offense. And while its Tech role isn't quite Sprigatito's flinch rate, Growl offers excellent utility in primarily physical stages like Cobalion and Tapu Bulu, and offsets threats like Terrakion and Latias. There's legitimate use here.

#unit teambuilding #sprigatito #fuecoco #quaxly #pokemon masters

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babystray-rescuecat · 3 years ago

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Update on Romeo 🐱

Romeo got diagnosed with stage 2 (of 4) kidney disease.

On the night of Friday, July 23, my hand came away with a sticky clear fluid after petting him. I checked him over but couldn’t find a wound on his body.

The following afternoon, I saw the wound on his bum. It was already red. He’d most likely been licking at it. I’m not sure how he got it. I thought it was from sitting on some piece of roofing that got blown away by the strong wind. It’s healing up now and actually it looks like a pair of puncture wounds. Maybe he got into a fight. Maybe he got bitten by something. I’m not completely sure because it’s scabbed over now.

I took him to the vet on Wednesday, July 28 - a little late, I know, but it was the soonest appointment we could get. He’d already been a bit lethargic and refusing to eat by this point.

I mentioned his stimky breath, and the vet leaned into him for a sniff and immediately called for a blood chemistry panel. She said bad breath is a sign of kidney disease. 😱

I had no idea! We’ve been using the oral gel and it worked to get rid of his bad breath but only temporarily. We had to keep using it or the stink would come back.

He was such a good boy during his physical checkup, getting his blood drawn and getting dewormed. His CREA and BUN levels were hella elevated. A sign of kidney problems but it could have been affected by other factors like dehydration. And he was dehydrated. So she urged us to get an SDMA test, which is directly related to kidney function and isn’t influenced by anything else. Sure enough, the test showed his kidneys are impaired.

I thought we were just about ready to go and I was just waiting for the print out of all the lab results and for the vet to write up the prescriptions when I was asked to go back into the exam room.

What I saw was hella terrifying. Romeo was hooked up to this machine and there were so many cables. I thought he had crashed and was dying! Turns out he was just having his blood pressure measured. The band that went around his arm was so tiny. He seemed so fragile in that moment. His BP was high at first, but the second time it was normal. Could have been just the stress of being at the vet. But there’s also a possibility of it being comorbid with the kidney disease.

He was prescribed nefrotec tablet to be taken 3x a day. It’s supposed to make him pee more to help him get rid of body waste. His kidneys aren’t functioning properly and so the waste builds up in his blood instead. He absolutely refused to take them when I gave them by hand. So I got a pill inserter to help. It worked the first time... and only the first time. Now I crush the tablet and cover it up with tons of yummy wet ciao treat and now he goes bananas for medicine time.

He’s also taking antibiotics for his bum wound. He’s a champ at taking it directly by oral syringe. He also doesn’t make too much of a fuss when I clean and apply ointment to his bum. He can take off the velcro e-collar within two minutes of me putting it on him. So I got a different collar that is secured by buttons. It’s better at preventing him from taking it off, but he still did manage to slip out of it once by wedging himself into a tight space, getting the cone stuck, and then backing out of the cone. I only make him wear it about 30 mins after wound treatment to give it a chance to dry. It’s almost completely healed now.

I spent that whole first night after the vet visit reading up on CKD (chronic kidney disease). I looked up the official guidelines and his levels actually indicate stage 3 kidney disease. Moderately impaired renal function. Not quite kidney failure but way too fucking close to that for my liking.

The vet didn’t mention making dietary changes and/or a urinalysis. And she said I had to take Romeo back a week after for retesting to monitor his levels. But that seems like way too soon especially when his meds were prescribed for 14 days.

The SDMA test is also really fucking expensive. It’s Php 1,500. The full blood chemistry panel was Php 2,400. Because we had both done, there was a discount and both tests were Php 3,500. For the retesting though, Romeo would need the SDMA test again and only two components for the blood chem, CREA and BUN, which are Php 350 each. I also think he should get his phosphorus level checked, but the vet didn’t mention it.

I’m worried about his belly being a bit large. He’s got a visible waist still, so I don’t know if that’s just his primordial pouch or if he’s got some swelling or fluid buildup on the inside. I might take him to the full animal hospital to get an ultrasound/x-ray and a urinalysis. Our regular vet doesn’t have an ultrasound/x-ray machine.

What’s stressing me out a lot is not being able to feed him a specially formulated renal diet which is supposed to slow the progression of CKD. They’re just way too expensive. There’s also just not a lot of options here. There’s only hill’s and royal canin. We’re just going to have to make do with Special Cat Urinary which has okay ingredients and a phosphorus content that’s lower than other non-prescription cat food. Not as low as what our goal should be, but it should still help his kidneys a bit. It’s Php 1,200 for a 7kg bag compared to our usual food that’s only Php 870 per 7kg. I’m not sure if I should be feeding it to the other cats as well. The ingredients are actually better than our current dry food. The protein content is actually higher and the first ingredient is chicken instead of cereals.

I still wonder if there would be any benefit to doing the expensive renal diet even if for two weeks just to get his levels under control.

I’m feeding Romeo more wet food now and less kibbles so he can get more moisture. Given the choice, he prefers dry food, but that’s not doing him any good so I’m limiting his dry food intake. He’s also much more energetic. I’m really scared about what his levels would be when we do retest. But we’re just taking it day by day right now.

See his paw in the cone. This was taken in the car at the end of our vet visit. We hadn’t even left for home yet and he was already working on his escape. 😂

#cats #kitty #cat #rescue #animals #stray cats #rescue cats #stray animals #rescue animals #Romeo #2021 #august 4 #kidney disease #ckd #ckd in cats

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years ago

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My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@dancingcoolcat

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

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There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met. They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another. But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n). And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone. As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best. In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards). Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me. It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm. It had been a long day. 5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor. I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang. She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together. She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs. We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had. For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me. We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us. When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself. For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him. I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system. We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life. You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her. Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them. Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on. Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy. I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered. Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm. Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet. With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU. From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress. I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive. But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s. She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life. You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future. She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose. Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery. His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted. I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her. I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly. God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice. I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded. I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

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onegirlatelier · 5 years ago

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Yellow floral blouse, June 2019

(This post is the longest I’ve written for this blog. No one is obliged to read it except me. Apparently, I am required to read and re-read it and, well, think.)

Guess who just finished her very, very first standard shirt, with cuff plackets and collar stands and all?

I am so happy, and relieved! No matter how badly the first one was made, it is a starting point after all. I am definitely planning to sew more since I enjoy both wearing a proper shirt and trying my best to properly make one.

Shirts are so common and ‘basic’, which makes the quality of patternmaking extra obvious. I prefer my shirt to be sleek and practical, with a touch of femininity. It means that whilst the cut should be smooth and fitted, it must not impair with everyday motions such as doing my hair or reaching for a book across the table. Preferably also taking a nap at the desk. The pattern pieces also need to be designed in such a way that when they are sewn together, the stress seams can actually hold some stress—which I interpret to be the reasonable use of grainline and a good set of stitching techniques.

Since I’m only at the beginning of this quest and there is still much to learn, this post is going to be a reflection, highlighting the adjustments that has worked for me and attempting to offer solutions to the current issues.

But first, let me start with the basic information for my shirt 1.0.

Fabric

Cotton, with a very lovely yellow floral print. I have no idea if it is poplin, or lawn, or quilting cotton, or just the plainest plain weave. My local fabric stores often don’t have such labels, and even if there are, they might not be accurate. My grandma has never cared about the name of a fabric, and yet she made me dresses, trousers, and shoes that I wore one day after another until she decided that the fabric had suffered way too much friction to be mended. Sometimes it’s just an instinct when you roll out the fabric and feel it with your hands.

It feels like a good shirting fabric to me—medium weight, durable, and crisp. It was so badly off-grain when I prepared it for this project, but that was probably because it’d been carelessly thrown into a washing machine twice.

It was reclaimed from the very first piece of clothing I made (well, I cut it, my grandma sewed it), a robe à la française. Yep. That was such a wise choice for a first garment.

Anyways, I really love the fabric. Besides, it has been there so long, it properly smells like me.

I would like to also mention that the thread is cotton-wrapped polyester, in white.

Design

I wanted to have all the usual details of a shirt to make sure that I would get the basics right. At the same time, I also wanted to taper those details to be the most flattering base. Basic but flattering. Strangely, it does make sense.

Here is a list of elements that I decided to include in my shirt:

Loosely fitted waist but not too roomy, especially in the back.

Moderately tight collar with a collar stand (cut in separate pieces).

One-piece button band for the right front piece, rolled edge+invisible stitching for the left front piece.

Six buttons, with the third (from the top) situated on the horizontal line connecting BPs. One extra button on the collar stand.

Two pleats per sleeve and a placket. Only one button for the cuff and no button on the placket.

One very slanted bust dart at each side, from the BP to the side seam.

Back yoke with self-fabric facing.

One inverted box pleat at CB.

Back hem ends lower than the front hem, with an overall soft curve.

Only topstitching when it’s absolutely needed, so one line on the back yoke seam and one line on each cuff.

…And here we go. The actual patternmaking details (and adjusting, and adjusting, and adjusting…) I will write in the same order as the sewing process, which is like this:

Bust darts

Back yoke and shoulder seams, using the burrito method

Side seams

Sleeves and cuffs

Sleeve seams

Armscye seams (set-in sleeves)

Button band, both sides

Collar ad collar stand

Hem

Buttonholes and buttons

(I start with a basic bodice block that fitted me okay but not perfect. My use of terms can be inconsistent and I apologise for that.)

Bust darts

My original block has two dust darts per side: one towards the shoulder and one towards the hem. I ignored the one towards the hem for that moderately loose fit at the waist. Then I cut open the dart towards the shoulder, and rotated it to the side. It slanted down instead of hanging almost horizontally. The angled darts were longer and probably less stable, but I liked that it sort of made my lines flow smoother.

I forgot to add an ‘angle’ so the edge of my finish dart did not line up with the side seam. I couldn’t hide the raw edge in the French seam when doing the side seams. Stupid, stupid mistake. Fortunately the edge of the dart was cut on bias so it wouldn’t fray, but it certainly could’ve been more stable.

Back yoke

(I did most alterations of the armscye before separating the back piece into two for the yoke design. My take on armscye fitting is described after the sleeve section below.)

I drew a horizontal line across the back to separate the back for the yoke, and it approximately connected the midpoints of the two armscye depth lines. My shoulder blades still feel somewhat restricted when I move my arms forward, so next time I will move this yoke seam higher up to make sure the protruding areas of the shoulder blades are below the yoke.

For the yoke, there was an inverted box pleat at the centre back. I pleated away 8cm for this. I have noticed that it won’t need to be this much if I widen the bodice (especially at the hem), but I’m not sure if I want to do that.

Shoulder seams

I followed the block and just extended about 1cm towards the CF and the CB, so that the neckline sat closer to my neck. I don’t normally like such tight necklines, but since this shirt has a collar and I don’t have to button it all the way up, it’s okay.

When I tried on the toile things seemed fine, but when I wear the finished shirt, I can see that the seams are placed too far backwards, which partially has to do with my forward-tilting shoulders. I do believe that the first step to solve this problem is to correct my posture, but next time I will bring the seam just a bit forward. Given the tightness in the shoulder area, I may only need to lengthen the back piece and let the front piece stay as it is.

Side seams

As I’ve written, I made the side seam on the front bodice almost vertical. It slanted a tiny bit outwards. Then I made the side seam on the back slant at the same angle. I would’ve preferred to have at least one side on grain, but I did have to accommodate the hip.

Sleeves and cuffs

I can’t believe that it didn’t even come to me that Claire B. Shaeffer wrote about shirt sleeves in her brilliant book Couture Sewing Techniques. As a result, foolish mistakes were made.

I drafted the sleeve myself. That is, I had a vague idea of what a sleeve shirt should look like and read a few tutorials on sleeve drafting, but none of them made enough sense for me to follow entirely.

The first thing is that I don’t understand why the sleeve centre (the grainline) needed to be, well, in the centre. I simply couldn’t get the grainline to divide the bicep line evenly. The forearm section was shorter than the back section because

the entire back half needed to be roomier so that I can bend my arm

the back part of the armscye had a deeper curve and thus was longer

the sleeve had two pleats at the back of the wrist seamline and the centre line should hang straight instead of twisting towards the back

my shoulder tilts forward so the centre line needed to be moved forward too

I think reasons #1, #3, and #4 are pretty solid, so I stand by my unevenly divided bicep line. Reason #2 does have some problem, and together with an exaggerated convex curve on the back of the sleeve curve it resulted in a slight dragline on the back of the sleeve. To solve this problem, I will have to adjust the armscye first and I will write more about it in the next section (armscye).

I made the wrist seamline straight and horizontal to the bicep line, without even a shallow curve. This was so wrong. The sleeve needed extra length where I pleated it, because pleats shortened the sleeve and also more length would allow me to bend my arm more comfortably. Next time, the wrist seamline will have a nice, rounded S-curve. The convex point will be where the back line hits the wrist, and the concave point will be where the forearm line hits the wrist.

I also included 1cm of ease for the entire wrist seamline. I realised that the distribution of this 1cm mattered a lot. In my first trial, I distributed it entirely in the front section of the seam, and as a result, the sleeve seam was pulled forward instead of staying in place on the inside of my wrist. In the second trial, I distributed the ease mainly in the back section with just a little in the front. It worked out much better. The back section ended up a little shorter than the front, which may have contributed to the slight twisting of the centre line (towards the back), though the sleeve seam stayed in place. Next time I will add more width to the back wrist seam to make sure the back and front sections can both have some ease and end up having the same length.

I need to widen the section from the elbow to the wrist in general. Currently I can write or read a book fine, but I must sit upright and I cannot take a nap at the desk at all (my ultimate standard).

If I keep my arm straight, I can raise it to form an approx. 80 degree angle with the side of my body without pulling up the shirt, so the width at bicep line is pretty good. I am not sure if how much extra underarm bulk there will be if I lengthen the bicep line some more.

Armscye

The most evil of all: the armscye. I don’t even know why it is so hard to fit armscye. The front section was fine, but the back section gave me a headache. It was so annoying to fit the back section because my very human body was not built in such a way that I could turn my head like an owl and inspect how everything hanged on my back. Anytime I did it for more than 30 seconds, I got dizzy as if I had had a carsickness.

There were two main problems: the first was that the mid-back section (where the yoke seam ended) had a gaping problem. I think it was partially due to my forward-tilting shoulders as well. I rotated the back shoulder dart to the yoke seam; this resulted in a little curve at either end of the yoke piece. I didn’t want to cut a curve on the back piece too since I preferred to keep the top edge of the back piece on cross grain. I thought my adjustment would be enough, but apparently the ‘dart’ could be a bit larger since the gap didn’t completely go away.

The second problem was that there was some wrinkles in the lower back section of the armscye. This problem remains unsolved and I’m a bit at a loss. It usually means I have made the armscye too snug, but I don’t feel like it’s too snug when I wear the shirt. (But to be honest the weather’s hot and humid, and my underarm area is currently sensitive due to hair removal treatments, so I am confused about whether the armscye is indeed too tight.) I have already made the lower-back curve quite a bit deeper than the original curve which I started with, so this might not be the problem. Maybe it can be solved when I solve problem #1, since the widened dart will pull the back piece upwards and thus eliminate the excess fabric which creates the wrinkles.

I think my back armhole might be curving too deep into the body. I couldn’t see my back so I don’t know the exact situation, but I think the upper part of the curve can be shallower, so it’s more like an L-shape than a C-shape. This way the arm movement is less restricted. I can maybe then make the convex curve on the sleeve less exaggerated and shorten the back curve a bit.

There is no wrinkle at the very bottom of the armscye, though, which means the armscye depth is enough. It’s just the shape that needs some more adjustment. I would like to keep the armscye depth as it is now to maximize the range of movement for the arm.

What I think I will do next time is that I will finish the whole bodice sans sleeves first (I have neither time nor material to bother with yet another toile), and see if my adjustments works out. I will adjust until it does, and add sleeves later.

Here is the back view, which illustrates the massive problems on the armscyes and sleeves:

I understand that sleeves can twist when they are hung like this. However, the two sleeves aren’t twisting in the same direction, which means there must be some kind of asymmetry. It might be a tiny error, but the effect is obvious. My assumption is that when the fabric is tauter in the front than in the back, the sleeve twists forwards. If it’s tauter in the back, the sleeve twists backwards. This means there is a difference of ease distribution between the two sleeves.

The back of the armscye cuts into the bodice. I don’t think the curve needs to be this deep.

The shape of the bottom of the armscye and the corresponding part of the sleeve curve can use some adjustment.

Button band

I cut the buttonhole band in one piece with the right front bodice. After some calculation, I pretty much just added a 5.5cm-wide rectangle to the CF of the right front piece.

Because I sewed the shirt by hand, I was able to work with very accurate measurements and narrow allowances. I managed to increase the width of the front bodice by 1cm, by adding 0.5cm towards the CF on either side. It fitted well. I will keep this in mind.

The button side was done like a wider two-time folded edge, as usual.

Collar and collar stand

I read some tutorials and made my own adjustments. It worked out fine. When sewing the two pieces of the collar together, I tried using a tailor’s hem and my left hand to hold the two pieces in such a way that the undercollar was tauter than the uppercollar. This way the finished collar piece would naturally curve without wrinkling on the underside, and the seam wouldn’t be visible because the edge of the collar would be curving towards the body.

It is not enough to just use my hand to manipulate the fabric. I actually do need to cut the undercollar a tiny bit shorter than the uppercollar.

The same thing goes for the collar stand—the facing needs to be cut a little shorter than the outer layer for it to naturally curve around my neck. The problem is illustrated in the first photo of this post.

Hem

I was being tight on fabric, so I had only 1cm of allowance for the hem and did a narrow invisible hem by hand.

I usually tuck my shirt hem into a skirt or a pair of trousers, so a shorter hem is fine as long as it can be secured tucked in. However, I would like to have a slightly longer hem next time

Buttonholes and buttons

I followed the normal way of placing buttons. I had noticed that many shirts did not have a button where it was most likely to gap and result in awkward situations for a lady, so I placed a button there.

Overall, this is far from a perfect shirt worthy of the time spent on hand-sewing. However, I also gained an enormous amount of knowledge of shirt-making by slowly walking myself through this process. I went from having no idea at all to knowing what was considered good. Now I just need to figure out how exactly to achieve that.

#sewing #stories #yellow floral shirt #Shirt-making

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porchwood · 6 years ago

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Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling to come up with a sufficient thank-you for all your help with the GoFundMe, but it seems every time I sit down to try to write a response, some new awful thing arises. And this past week was the worst yet (maybe the worst ever).

When last I spoke to you, I was getting over a bad cold and preparing to ease back into work after my injury. The PT office finally called me back and I went in for one session to make sure I was at a recovery point where it was okay for me to do massage again; the therapist did a quick assessment - no exercises demonstrated or recommended - kinesiotaped the knee and charged $100 that I had to pay then and there. (So a waste, and an expensive one, but I guess it could have been worse?) The next day I started back at work VERY part-time (one 60-90 min client a day) and it absolutely killed me. I was no longer wearing the brace and my knee actually did okay with the work (bending/crouching notwithstanding), but the rest of my body (esp core muscles) were just drop-kicked by the work. I went home exhausted and shaky every day and finally tried substantially increasing my protein intake, which felt a little ridiculous (we’re talking a 24g shake + an 11g bar for breakfast or two entrees at lunchtime), but it’s done a world of good, and that’s all thanks to you guys. (Protein of any kind isn’t cheap and your incredible donations made it possible for me to buy good food to rebuild my muscles.)

The end of my first week back at work, I fell hard on the ice outside my house. Miraculously, my left knee never even hit the ground, but I fell flat on my back and my left wrist - without any lasting injury, thankfully, but I was absolutely worthless for the next 24 hours and had several days (crucial returning-to-massage days) of varying degrees of pain in that wrist. In the meantime, I made a couple of other adjustments (raising my massage table to take the strain off my lower body, getting back on an ibuprofen schedule instead of just taking it after the fact, when I was hurting badly), all of which helped, but I’m still only about 85% back. My knee still hurts every morning when I wake up and gets stiff and sore whenever I have it bent for any length of time. My workplace has been surprisingly good about letting me work a slower schedule as I build back up (ex. 3 clients a day instead of 5), and last Friday I finally got a paycheck for the first time in over a month (!).

Then, two weeks ago, I was wakened at 3am to Lucky (my little rat terrier) falling off the bed. This has happened before and is usually comical after the fact, but when I picked her up, she emptied her bladder all over me, and when I tried to set her down to check on her, her back legs had gone limp and wouldn’t support her. Terrified (I’ve heard enough end-of-life dog stories to know this isn’t good), I was about to take her to the emergency vet when she sat up like nothing had happened and began licking herself. I took her outside and she walked around a bit, completely sound on her feet, and pottied again - business as usual. Worried and mystified, I messaged my (LPN) mother who thought the urination sounded like a shock reaction to the fall, so I gave Lucky a bath and spent most of the day just cuddling with her.

For about two seconds, life seemed like it might finally be getting a little better. I was able to pick up two massages at a local inn (which pay substantially better than massages at the spa and provide some very helpful extra money). And then on Thursday, I came home to a slightly anxious Lucky (howling quietly on my bed), and when she got up to greet me, her back legs wouldn’t support her. I scooped her up immediately and her entire body went limp (seemingly lifeless), her head and neck lolling over my arm. As I ran through the house with her, her bladder emptied down the front of me and - still lifelessly limp - she gave the most horrifying howl I’ve ever heard. I was convinced she was dying in my arms.

As we tore down the road to the vet’s (thankfully, about a 5-minute drive from home), she sat up on my lap and by the time we’d reached the office, she was acting downright normal again. I was able to get us in with one of the vets about 10 mins later (a tech checked her out right away to triage her and make sure she was stable), and he wanted to get some data on her heart. She’s had a heart murmur for almost her entire life and, while I’ve asked repeatedly what we could do for that, the only advice I was ever given was hawthorn and ginkgo supplements (which she takes on a more or less daily basis), and at one point we tried a canine cardiac formula for a few months with no notable changes.

She had an EKG, chest x-rays, and a blood draw ($516, including the office call) and then that info was sent to a veterinary cardiologist in Portland. All they could tell me in the meantime was that her heart is enlarged and to just have her take it easy for the rest of the day; they would call me first thing the next morning with the cardiologist’s report. Lucky was sleepy but normal for the rest of the day and I passed an awful night of bad dreams (including one about rabid dogs) and waking every hour or so to make sure she was okay.

I was scheduled for my typical split on Friday but had only one client at the end of the day and was an emotional wreck, so I asked if I could just go home to be with Lucks and I found another therapist to cover my client. I still hadn’t heard from the vet by 10am, so I called to check in. He gave me a brief summary over the phone and asked if we could come in for some more tests, which was another hour and a half and $236. (I was able to put these two visits on my CareCredit card but for some reason the vet only gives a 6 month promotional period instead of the 12-18 months that other places do. If you’re not familiar, CareCredit is a great option IF you can pay off everything quickly. If you can’t, you’re clobbered with obscene interest on the entire sum at the end of the promotional period, even if you’ve paid off almost all of the principal.)

I’m still making sense of the cardiologist’s report because it’s quite in-depth and my knowledge of the heart isn’t quite that high, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean:

- “severely enlarged” heart - borderline tachycardia and occasional arrhythmia (her collapse was considered a syncopal episode, if that helps anyone) - some degree of mitral valve issue - at risk of developing congestive heart failure

She was put on two heart meds, pimobendan/Vetmedin (which is supposed to be very effective and is also very expensive) and enalapril (an ACE-inhibitor), and she has a kidney check-up in about a week to make sure she’s doing well on them and adjust the doses if necessary. The vet seemed to think the prognosis was pretty good (considering that at this point we’re talking about staving off heart failure :/) - he said small dogs with mitral valve issues tend to do well on these meds - and other than this insanity with her heart, Lucky seems to be in pretty good shape. Before Thursday she was extremely active and happy; there’s no sign of neurological issues, and her BP, thyroid, kidneys, etc are all looking good. So I’m trying to stay hopeful.

She’s been a little extra sleepy (understandably) the past few days, but this afternoon she seemed unusually “off,” so I’m trying to figure out whether it’s her tiny body adjusting to the meds (which she needs to stay on for the rest of her life) or if her heart is suddenly starting to get tired and this is the new normal. :( I called my mother earlier (a mistake) and got a lot of pessimism-in-the-guise-of-sympathy that left me feeling like Lucky is on hospice and I should start making end-of-life arrangements now.

I’ve been crying for the better part of the last four days, and I don’t think I can articulate how painful this is for me. I didn’t think it was possible to donate a human heart to a canine but I looked it up just in case, because I would give her mine without hesitation. Lucky is my whole life - my soul running around in a little black-and-white body, and five years ago when my life systematically fell apart, she was the only thing misfortune didn’t touch - and I knew this, and I was waiting. Since then she developed sleeping bladder leaks (which, while frightening, were easily and effectively treated with estrogen), then severe separation anxiety (which I’ve been struggling to treat since 2016, and yes, I blame myself for the anxiety making her heart worse, even though I’ve done absolutely everything to help her overcome it). Lucky is absolutely the reason I didn’t try to end my life at various junctures over the past five years, and I don’t want to think about what will happen to me if she’s not here anymore.

And as ridiculous as this will sound: I was supposed to be married by now. When I got Lucks as a puppy, I knew the inevitable would one day come (unless Jesus comes back before then so Lucky and I can just go to heaven together, which I haven’t given up on), but I knew my life would be much different by then. I would have a home and a husband to help shoulder the financial and emotional burden. I was not supposed to be alone, sterile, and struggling just to make ends meet. I love my roommate dearly, but it’s not the same as having a spouse, nor should it be. She can give me hugs and listen to me cry, but at the end of the day it’s me in that dr’s office, holding my hurting baby and promising to pay for whatever they have to do, and me that has to hold everything together and keep going when the worst happens.

Incidentally, last Sunday was my birthday. I’ve mentioned before that my birthday has some kind of perverse curse, and if this year didn’t prove it, I don’t know what will.

My father (living in Nebraska, and with whom I’ve had a strained relationship since my hysterectomy) has congestive heart failure, and my mother called me shortly before all of the Lucky stuff to tell me that he’s failing and to try to talk me into moving back to Nebraska to help keep an eye on him. Which is a subject for another time entirely, but over the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should think about going back (temporarily), if only to be around family myself. It would be a complicated situation (I’d still be on the Maine lease and paying for half of everything, Lord knows if I’d be able to keep my Maine job when I came back and I’d end up back at Massage Envy in Nebraska, not to mention I’d be scrambling to pay down my medical bills and Lucky’s), but maybe it’s something I should consider.

Anyway: that’s where I’ve been. :( And I’m sure I look like an ingrate for not saying thank you about the funds sooner, but between the fatigue and the heartbreak, it’s been hard to manage much of anything lately.

#personal #lucky bloom #did i mention we got kicked out of our house four months ago?#and that i'm still recovering from an acute knee injury?#i almost can't even process this #and i know i'm quietly ignoring the parts i can't handle

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wonderlandmind4 · 6 years ago

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Delicate Stages: Epilogue

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Warnings: Language, mild PTSD. Explicit Sexual Content 18+. Mentions of Nightmares, Minor Character Death

Summary: Bucky Barnes agrees to participate in Deprogramming Sessions. What he gets is not anything like he expected.

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep Are you ever dreaming of me....cause I know this is delicate...

Words: 7.5k+ @justreadingfics @nerdyandproud9 @buffy-morgendorffer-01 @kat-lives

A/N: Here we are. This is the end of Delicate Stages. First, thank you to everyone who read, liked and commented on this monster of a story! I seriously can not thank you all enough. Thank you for being patient with me as I dealt with my loss, so I also really appreciate that. Thank you to my friend who allowed me to text her all sorts of silly little things and for helping me get my head straight when I needed it. I can't tell you the amount of sleepless nights and down time at work I had to write this story. This has become my baby, and I'm really proud of it and I'm baffled by the attention and praise it's received. With all that said, please enjoy, the final chapter of Delicate Stages.

10 months later:

The past ten months have been a fucked up roller coaster ride.

It starts only three days after Bucky drove out of Ana’s life. Max finds her, pulling her outside on the patio and carefully wrapping his arms around her in one of the longest hugs she’s ever received. He sits her down, then solemnly tells her the bad news.

Jared Sharp has passed away.

Although Ana has already heard a summary of what happened, Max divulges his side of the story. Jared was the one to realize what was happening, how he ran along with Max to help them out, and when they got there, Jared tried stopping it. He was critically shot and Max tried everything he could to keep him from bleeding out.

She’s heard this up until that point. Max continues, tells her that Jared asked if he saved her, and for some reason, he lied. It made Jared smile, said that Alex would be happy, and that was the last thing he said before he passed out. His body couldn’t come back from the trauma of the wound and gave out.

Ana had been peering out into the distance while Max talked. Her eyes sting, she blinks once, twice. Something wet falls onto her cheek and she realizes then that she’s crying. Her and Jared never got along while working, and he may have hated and blamed her for the wrong reasons, but he was trying to make up for it. They were beginning to get to know one another, understand each other. Her brother loved him for plenty of reasons, and Ana is disheartened that they could have been friends for more than a few weeks.

In the end, Jared wanted to protect Alex’s sister. He wanted to prevent anything further, he wanted to save her and Bucky, and it earned him a bullet to his chest. Ana leans forward, allowing Max to gather her in his arms as she cries quietly against his chest. She mourns the loss of Jared Sharp.

The long days morph into longer nights- some sleepless, some filled with nightmares of the aftermath- busy days, tear filled showers, bottles of wine, and working non stop. Especially after discovering the little notebooks Bucky left behind just for her. Honestly, Ana thinks it would just have been better if he'd taken those with him, instead of leaving them in a neat pile in her nightstand for her to find. Then, as she goes through them, page after page filled with nothing but his thoughts about her, she thinks, maybe not.

The first time she had gotten the nerve to go through one, she cried. Well, she laughed, then cried, maybe it was a mixture of both. She swears James Buchanan Barns could be a famous poet if he wanted to. It's these words, his words, his thoughts and feelings, that Ana rereads over and over, keeps close to her heart, and under her pillow. She feels slightly pathetic. She just misses him every single day, and Bucky's words just reassure her that no matter how much time passes, no matter how far the distance, no matter where he is, that he still loves her. That he will come back to her like he promised. It's her little bit of home she holds onto.

Home isn't a place, it's a person, it's a feeling; Bucky took that with him.

It's been a week since Ana has cracked open one of the little books, the binding worn by this point. It's not her fault, she's been keeping busy, more than usual. She's been working in the Medical Ward, offering her reports and help to any agents and Avengers coming back from missions.

Ana has absolutely refused to join any new mission and not just because of her knee, to the point of where Tony no longer asks her. She'd rather just sit back, wait anxiously while cuddling Ezra, and do her Empathetic Healing. She tries not to use her Energy Alchemy anymore, at least, not until it stops making her weak.

Sometimes, while she's waiting, or alone in the compound, Ana wonders into Bucky's room. She's already took all his pillows, now piled up on her bed, and a left over shirt or two, but she sits on his mattress, staring at a navy blue hat he left behind. Sometimes, she falls asleep, curled up in the middle of the bed that still smells like him, and sometimes she wakes up to Steve covering her with a blanket. When that happens, he doesn't coax her to get up or move into her room, instead, he sits beside her, pats his lap for her to rest her head on, until she drifts off again. Misery loves company, they say.

The last seven days however, have been crazy. Ana had been dealing with filing reports, even proof reading others, and the team just came back from a four day mission, uncovering yet another HYDRA base.

The mission went smoothly, but Steve still came back pissed off, and it took Ana quite some time to calm him. To be honest, she didn't try that hard, because when Steve becomes angry about the situation, it allows Ana to let her own feelings out because, yes. She is still upset and angry, and fuck, she just misses Bucky.

As does Steve, who takes it out on the punching bag next to her favorite one. When Ana catches him during these times, she challenges him to knock all the bags off the chains, they end up making a game out of it. Ana punches with all her might, until she can no longer control her powers, using energy to blast the bag right off. It always ends with them falling to the mat laughing. It’s cathartic for them both.

Three hundred and twenty-three days later, Ana is banging her head against the island marble top. She hasn't emailed Telly in a long time, both busy with their own lives and projects, but Ana is stuck on a mental health device that Tony has been trying to come up with and inquired her help. The concept being able to replicate what Ana can do, by healing the mind from emotional and psychological trauma. Maybe she if smacks her head hard enough it'll knock her intelligence back into her brain.

“You’re going to give yourself a concussion, and I will not be explaining that to Pepper.”

“Why? Because your fiancé will have your ass if I’m hurt?”

There’s a hand now between her forehead and the counter top, cushioning her blows. Ana narrows her eyes at Tony as he picks her head up.

“Why don’t you take a vacation?” He offers, his dark eyes flashing in concern.

“I agree!” Steve shouts from the couch as he sits up straighter, overly eager.

“Me too!” Wanda pipes in, pulling her attention away from the card game she’s teaching Vision. Those two have been growing closer and closer the past several months.

“I can’t. I’m too busy.” Ana glares at both of them.

Sam, who has been eating his lunch on the patio speaks up. “Not too busy to clean my wings! Four times. They didn’t even need a cleaning.”

Ana rolls her eyes.

“It was entertaining to watch you do that though.” Comes Natasha’s voice from behind her.

Ana spins in her chair not at all hearing her walk in. She snatches the untouched spoon and jar of Nutella that has been sitting next Ana for a while. She hasn’t cracked it open, mainly because it was making her sad. She still has the one Bucky gave her on her bookshelf. No one touches it.

“It wasn’t a suggestion.” Tony asserts, ignoring everyone. “I’m telling you. Start packing and pick a location, anywhere you want to go and I’ll have my jet bring you there.”

She groans.

“Why don’t you visit your friend? That pen pal of yours.” Steve suggests, giving Tony a pointed look over her shoulder.

“Pen pal.” Ana mutters while Natasha leans against the counter, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Tony claps his hands together. “Yes. Besides, Pepper will have my ass for real if she finds out how stressed you’ve been.”

“I am not s-”

“You’re hair has been falling out and FRIDAY clocked your BP at 139 for at least-”

“Okay, I got it, thanks.” Ana snaps.

It’s true, she’s been purposely overworking herself. Jumping from one agent to the next, then the issue with helping Peter Parker’s Aunt May come to terms with finding the truth about his identity as Spider-Man. Which was shocking news to everyone, minus Tony. Not to mention the lack of sleep and still ignoring the Bucky shaped hole in her heart.

“Fine.” She sighs exaggeratedly. “I’ll go visit Telly.”

“Thank god. All this negative energy was making me antsy.” Wanda teases, wiggling her fingers.

“Negative!?” She pauses, then shrugs. “Hush and help me pack.”

***

Wakanda is the most beautiful, stunning place Ana has ever seen in her life. The scenery blooms in front of her eyes, the color of the sky seem more vibrant, as do the plants, the landscape. It's the incredibly advance technology that has her mind reeling. It takes her breath away. She can't help thinking, as she slowly and takes in all the new sights with wonder, that Bucky would adore this place. She ignores the pang of longing in her heart.

Ana arrives to her destination, the ramp of the jet she came in lowers as she goes to grabs her bags. She’s stopped by one of the stunning women who had offered to pick her up in the first place. She introduced herself as Okoye. She politely holds her hand out, her dark skin almost illuminating in the sunlight along with her intricate red and gold uniform. Ana insists she can carry her own bags, that it isn't a problem, until the woman levels her with a stern look.

Once Ana exits the jet, she's led down a beautiful hallway, that leads into a wide, expansive laboratory. Her mouth drops open. The ceilings are high, two entire walls display floor to ceiling windows overlooking the countryside. There’s a plethora of technological advance machines and devices, all futuristic and expensive; Ana is afraid to walk too close to them, lest she break something. Everything in this lab makes the one back home look like a child's play toy. They come to a halt on the left side of the lab, behind someone standing by a table of weapons.

"Princess Shuri," Okoye introduces a tilt of her golden spear. “AnaRosa Rios."

Ana balks at that, because Princess!? Telly sent the Princess of Wakanda to greet her? "Uh-" She squeaks dumbly, blinking in surprise.

The young woman, a teenager, dressed in all white with multiple braided hair wrapped up into a bun, turns. She beams brightly, waving excitedly. Then it clicks. Telly is Princess Shuri of Wakanda, which means she is the sister of T'Challa, the Black Panther. The King of Wakanda. Holy shit.

Shuri rushes to her, Ana automatically opens her arms to greet her with a hug. It isn't awkward or weird, since they've talked for so long, have shared so much, that it feels like a seeing an old friend who's moved away. Once they pull back, they break out into giddy chit chat and laughter, mainly because Ana had no idea who Telly truly was, but Telly- Shuri, knew who Ana was for a while. That is, until Shuri reminded her that she did in fact introduce herself way back in their first message to each other. Ana is just dumb and was overly impressed by her intelligence that she just opted to nickname her Telly.

Shuri pulls back completely, squatting down until she's level with Ana's knee. “How’s your knee holding up in this rusted thing?" She inquires with a beautiful accent. "Brother told me it was damaged again. Stark technology failed?”

Ana shrugs sheepishly. “In his defense, I don’t think he was prepared for a five pronged electrical disk to be shoved into my knee? It somehow countered the rods between the bones and disabled them. That's a lie. It literally yanked them from my bones." She winces like she can still feel the pain from the moment it happened. Her entire knee throbs occasionally, even with the temporary brace she is currently wearing.

Shuri pursues her lips. “Hmmm. It was painful, yes?” She gently taps the brace with her fingers.

“Excruciating.”

“Why did you wait so long to see me?" She stands up, crossing her arms. "I offered to help when you told me about your knee the first time."

Ana waves her hand around. “I was really busy and I was handling the pain the best way I could. I’m here now though.”

Shuri looks like she wants to say something else, but hooks her arm with Ana's own. “Come. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

She steers Ana towards the opposite side of the room, past the little workshops with objects she can’t quite see. She tries taking in the amazing sights of the laboratory, but she's being pulled too quickly. They head towards the Health and Healing area in the back, stopping by the Wakandan version of an MRI machine. Ana’s eyes widen, she drops her arm.

“Oh my god.” She breathes.

Shuri nudges her arm. “I thought you’d like it.”

Ana is amazed. “Shuri, you literally built a knee. This is incredible!”

The artificial knee appears more advanced than anything she has ever seen. It’s navy blue, nearly black in color, clearly made from a material not yet accessible to other countries. A thin piece of what looks like golden cartilage cushions the joints, along with golden tendons and ligaments.

Ana steps up to the table, examining the artificial knee. “It operates like a real one, right? No limited range of motion?”

“Correct. It’s better than a real one. It’s one-hundred percent vibranium. It's kinetic as well, so it’ll absorb any shock impact and converts it into energy.” Shuri explains excitedly. "Goes perfectly with what you can do. The surgery for it isn’t as invasion as a normal, less advanced knee replacement. Your recovery would be days, weeks possbily, rather than months.”

Ana claps her hands, ecstatic. “Does that mean I have my leg strength back?”

Shuri laughs. “Yes! You can land a powerful strike. The best part however, it converts into a positive source of energy throughout your body. I gathered all the information you told me and decided to build it that way to give you more endurance.”

“You're amazing, Shuri.” Ana compliments, focusing back on the knee to take in the details.

“One other thing.”

Ana turns to face her, eager to learn more. Then her heart stops in her chest, air ceasing in her lungs. She can barely feel her expression melt into shock and briefly thinks that she is going into shock. Time seems to stand still, and a warmth begins to spread throughout her bones. The breath she had been holding in without her knowledge leaves her mouth in a quiet huff. It takes her seventeen seconds to breathe again.

Bucky.

Bucky is standing there.

Bucky is standing right there. Bucky is standing several feet behind Shuri, who is probably smiling so wide, but Ana doesn’t see her. She doesn’t see anyone or anything surrounding her other than Bucky. Bucky who has a soft little grin on his lips as he stares back at her. Bucky, who she had been dreaming of standing in front of her for months, is right there.

Ana has to be certain this is real before she truly reacts. She blinks rapidly, but the illusion doesn’t disappear. She twists her injured knee until it hurts, but she isn’t dreaming. Bucky is wearing a white tunic, threaded with intricate designs that look important, royal. His trousers are a gray loose fitting material leading to his bare feet.

Clearly the past ten months has done him good, since he now has a brand new prosthetic arm, sleek and dark blue interlaced with gold. It’s his face though, that kickstarts Ana’s heart up again. He looks serene. His blue eyes are bright and clear as the sky, popping vividly against the color of his shirt. Any cuts and scabs are long gone, and half his hair is twisted back into a bun, the length now just above his shoulders.

“Hi Annie.”

It’s daybreak after the longest period of darkness. That simple nickname, that gentle little greeting finally makes Ana’s feet unglue from the floor. This is real, and Bucky is real and it’s not another heart wrenching dream.

Ana sprints towards him, closing the few feet between them. She jumps, Bucky catching her instantly, wrapping her thighs around his hips. Ana kisses him. Bucky tightens his arms around her waist, pressing her close and kissing her back with fervor.

“Your knee!” Shuri cackles from somewhere behind them. They ignore her. “Love sick colonizers.”

Ana’s hands are in his hair, gripping and pulling his head closer. Their mouths open against each other’s and she has missed the way he tastes. Bucky moves his arm up her back, his own fingers tangling in her hair, kissing her harder. It’s bruising and perfect, ignites a furnace deep within her soul. Ana begins to slip, so she drops her legs, but Bucky holds her tighter to his chest. Unfortunately, they break apart, just barely, grinning wildly against each others mouths. Bucky brings his right hand up to cup her jaw.

“You came back to me.” Ana whispers, tears welling up in her eyes.

Bucky laughs softly, freely, and it’s the best sound she has ever heard. “Promised I would, love.” He kisses her again.

Her hand slips from his long, soft hair, falling onto his left shoulder. She breaks the kiss once more, gazing up into his watery blue eyes. “I’ve missed you.”

“You have no idea.” He exhales, swiping his thumbs along her cheekbones. He peaks her nose. “I have missed your pretty eyes.”

Ana melts into him. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Better. Brand new.”

Overwhelming relief crashes over. Ana beams, tears escaping her eyes. She’s so happy in this moment.

“I love you.” Bucky conveys strongly, nudging his forehead against hers.

"I love you, too. Oh my god. This is real right? Please, please tell me you're real."

"I'm very real, doll face."

"God." Ana reaches up to tug his hair, only to pull him back down for another long, overdue kiss.

“I’m fixed, Ana, it’s gone.” He mumbles against her mouth.

She pulls back, completely gobsmacked. “What- I mean- how- what?”

Bucky smiles so wide, his eyes squint, those cute crinkles appearing by the corners. “Shuri. She did this thing with-” he breaks off laughing as Ana places quick little pecks all over his face, “-the scientists and the-” Ana kisses his mouth, “-thing."

“Very eloquently put.” Shuri cackles behind them.

Ana grabs either side of his head, slipping her fingers into his thick, long hair, accidentally loosening the bun. She rubs her thumbs against his temples, senses his warm energy seeping into hers.

“Fuck,” She mutters, beaming at him. “I’m so happy for you, baby. How do you feel?” She has to ask again.

“Free.”

The rapidly beating heart swells even more inside her chest. Her stomach flutters, warmth spreading throughout her veins. All she ever wanted was for Bucky to be free from Hydra’s monstrous tentacles. Ana weeps from joy.

Gentle thumbs wipe away her tears, as Bucky tenderly hushes her with sweet little coos. Once she gathers herself, she turns around in his arms, Bucky wrapping them around her chest.

“Shuri, this is incredible. You are incredible!” Ana exclaims. “How were you able to do it?"

"Come! I'll show you!" She chirps excitingly, grabbing Ana's arm, pulling her from Bucky’s hold to dragging her across the lab.

He makes a noise of protest, but Shuri ignores him. They come to a stop by a large holographic digital panel. She taps her fingers swiftly on the screen until images of what must be Bucky's brain pop up.

"We used our most sophisticated bi-scanners to create a one on one digital representation of his brain." The insanely intelligent princess explains, expanding one of the images. "The progress we made was tested and retested again in the digital construct, that way there was no damage to the physical brain tissue."

She turns her attention on Ana. "I was worried about that. If the tissue would be damaged in the process of deprogramming the words, of pulling them apart, since they were basically embedded into his DNA at that point. All interictally woven."

Ans shakes her head in disbelief. She knew how deep HYDRA's brainwashing went, seventy years of wiping his mind and repeating those words made a giant impact. A long term affect.

"As you already knew," Shuri continues, "there was no simple solution to just erase mental programming, especially after 7 decades. There's no delete button, and you were right, Ana. The majority of his programming was linked to the trigger words. The last thing we wanted to do was remove all of who Sergeant Barnes was. All his loves, his hates, his whole personality- when trying to destroy what Hydra made him into.

“The hardest part was rooting out the extent of his memories that had the greatest amount of control over his physical actions. The ones that had been manipulated due to their deep emotional trauma. Which was quite a few."

Ana hums in agreement, surprisingly able to follow along. Shuri goes on.

"I ran an algorithm that was able to flush the influence of the trigger words out, all while retaining the core context of those original memories. Essentially, I was able reboot him."

"Does-" Ana speaks up, her voice raspy, taking all the information in. She clears her throat. "Does that mean, his memories..."

"They're all there." She grins brightly at her. "All his memories, and traits, everything that makes Sergeant Barnes himself, is all there. Old memories, and new ones, important ones."

She places a gentle hand on Ana's shoulder. "I was careful. I made sure to keep all his memories with you intact as well. The healing session you told me about, evidently, helped me out more than expected. By performing that, you essentially tied stronger, newer memories, thoughts, feelings, loves, into his brain.

“It was much easier to separate what Sergeant Barnes felt with those memories, what he began to associate the former trigger words, as good. Even beforehand, the words weren't as deeply rooted as I anticipated. Which is a result from your Deprogramming Sessions as well."

Ana frowns, befuddled. She had been staring at Bucky as he fawned over the vibrainum knee meant for her. Bucky glances up, and she tears her eyes away, locking her gaze back to Shuri. She mulls the words over in her mind for several long moments, her heart picking up speed just a little at the implication.

"So...what you are saying is-"

"You did not fail me." Bucky's voice interrupts her from behind.

Ana turns, blinking. He was just on the other side of the room two seconds ago. He's smiling at her, that one where his mouth is tilted up to right, and the corners of his eyes are soft.

"Precisely." Shuri concurs. "If it weren't for you, our process would have been longer and much more invasive. This took around fourth and a half months. It would have been quicker, but our country briefly had civil disagreements with an outsider."

"Wait. Then I really didn't..." Ana shakes her head again, trying to comprehend all of this information.

Everything she has been beating herself up with, everything she felt immensely guilty of, that weighed on her like 20-ton weights, wasn't true. That she truly did not fail in helping him. All those nights she spent crying into her pillow, all the nights she spent alone in their spot on the roof, driving herself into a nearly depressed tail spin. All that time she spent knowing that she could have done more, that maybe if she did something differently, that none of what happened would have happened.

"Annie."

The nickname she once despised pulls her from her thoughts. Bucky is standing a few inches in front of her, placing careful hands on her cheeks, his touch delicate. Ana revels in the contrast of his hands, warm and cool, allowing it to ground her. She's beginning to feel overwhelmed with everything from the past hour. Arriving in a place she had no idea exist until a day ago, thinking she was here to visit for a new knee, then having Bucky surprise her, to the information about how Shuri and her team were able to fully deprogram him. She feels dizzy.

"You with me, darling?" Bucky murmurs, smoothing his thumbs over her cheekbones. His eyes are so incredibly blue, and she is drowning in them. Wants to drown in them forever.

"I didn't fail you?" She breathes, still trying to comprehend it. She brings her hands up, curling her fingers over his wrists.

His eyes crinkle as his expressions turns fond. “No, you didn't. You were a big part in helping me." He leans closer, pressing his forehead against hers. "Between you and I, you were the greatest part. You are the greatest part."

Then he kisses her, gentle and tantalizing, the sensation melting right down to her bones. It causes her knees to buckle, her right one throbbing, but the love of her life wraps his arms around her shoulders and waist, supporting her against his body. Ana can't help it, a few tears escaped once more as she hugs Bucky around his back.

Shuri decides to speak up. "Your broken white boy is fixed!" She exclaims.

Not expecting that at all, Ana pulls away cackling loud and unabashed. She barely hears Bucky sigh, before she turns and launched herself at Shuri, embracing her in a tight hug.

"You are an exceptional genius!" Ana tells her, tears still blurring her vision. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Her friend laughs in her ear before she leans back. "When my brother told me exactly who Sergeant Barnes was-

"Bucky, Shuri." He interjects. He's ignored.

"-I had to help." She goes on as if Bucky hadn't said a word. "Not just for scientific reason, which is a major breakthrough for Wakandan artificial intelligence, but for the both of you as well. You became extremely sad in your emails, Ana, and his most recent memories were just as sad. I knew this would make you both happy. Captain Rogers too."

Ana beams at her, until it clicks in her brain. She takes a step back. "Oh my god, Steve knew this entire time!"

No wonder he was eager to take Ana here. That little fucking punk. When she gets back she's going to smack Steve in the face with his shield, then she’s going to have to thank him in the biggest way possible when she goes back. She looks at Bucky, who is laughing now, his mouth open and head tilted back.

If she goes back.

***

"You've been sitting on a never-ending supply of Winter theme nicknames for him, and I'm only now finding out about it?" Shuri asks, crossing her arms and glaring at Bucky.

It took a while for Ana and Bucky's reunion to die down, even having several of the Wakadans working in the lab clapping for them. It felt physically impossible to pull away from each other, and even now, Ana has her arms around his lower back, her head pressed against his chest over his beating heart. Bucky has his flesh hand in her hair, his left hugging her spine.

"I think you have plenty of your own nicknames for me." Bucky responds flatly. Ana perks up at that. "No. I'm not telling you either, darling. This information is very dangerous in both your hands."

"I'll just tell her later." Shuri winks at her.

"You don't stand a chance, Bucky." Ana simpers. She hears him huff exasperated. "You love me." She leans back to look at him, and he's already peering down at her.

"With every fiber of my being." He tells her with conviction.

Her heart swells. "I've missed you. I love you."

He kisses her deeply, until Shuri clears her throat. Bucky pulls back, shrugging unashamed. "I’ve missed those nine gold dots.” He gently brushes his thumb under her eye. “Would you like to see where I live?"

Ana ignores the little pang in her heart at the words. "That sounds like a line, Buck."

They stare at each other, goofy grins on their faces. Ana feels likw this is her own homecoming, wrapped up in his arms.

"Go, go." Shuri shoos before Bucky can reply. "Enjoy your time, Ana. We can talk knee replacement surgery when you are ready. No rush.”

***

White Wolf.

It's what the Wakandans dubbed Bucky. It's what T'Challa and Shuri named him during his recovery. Ana finds out that the people have essentially adopted Bucky and have accepted him into their society and culture. He explains all of this to her, as she traces her fingers all over his new arm that seems utterly benign.

She can't get over the beauty of the vibranium prosthetic. It's so very different from the other, then again, this new arm was made with careful tenderness from people who genuinely hold Bucky's interest as important. As someone who is indeed a human, with complex thoughts and emotions. Someone who isn't viewed as a weapon, as an asset.

Bucky allows her to play with his fingers, twisting and turning his wrist, pulling his bicep closer to her face. The technology is amazing, beautiful. The design reminds her of the kintsukuroi artwork she has in her room. Ana traces every single line of gold she sees; around his fingers, his knuckles, the lines in his palm, around his wrist, up his forearm, over his bicep.

"To repair with gold." She whispers, accidentally interrupting Bucky.

He stops talking and laces his fingers with hers. Then he lifts her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. Ana smiles at him, before leaning into him, kissing him softly on the lips. As he brings his right hand up to rest against her chest and taps her collarbone, she vaguely remembers never believing in a one true love before. But as they sit alone on the freight train that takes them from the Lab, through the city and into the country side, she thinks maybe she was wrong.

Bucky quite literally pulls Ana along through a small village made up of scattered huts. Animals ranging from chickens, to sheep, dogs and even some cats run around. He shows her around the little farm he works on three days a week. He points out the animals, the little goats and sheep, some chickens and lambs. He points out his favorite little goat, who he named Rosa because she's a stubborn little thing that likes to kick at hay bills. The fact that Ana's full name ends with Rosa doesn't go unnoticed, and Bucky blushes when she mentions. He tells her that moving hay bills and other manual labor makes him feel whole, that he can be helpful.

Bucky admits, his voice quiet as he pets Rosa on the head, that most days he doesn't even use his left arm. Keeping it locked in a case up in the lab and working with just his right arm makes him feel more human; feels more like himself. That during this recovery process, he had begun accepting himself as who he was. It made Bucky feel like he wasn't just a weapon, and his old Soviet made arm was just an everyday reminder that for seventy plus years, that's all he was.

"I think that's why I was always so cautious with it around you." Bucky confesses, voice barely above a whisper. "All I saw was this horrific thing that could hurt you and I couldn't get rid of. I was stuck with it."

Ana understands, and to convey that she does, she presses a light kiss to his temple. As Bucky leads them towards the furthest hut just on the outskirts of a small lake, they're surrounded by children with beautiful dark skin, dressed in traditionally wraps with white and yellow tribal paint on their faces. They're all shouting in their native language, but the kind expression on Bucky's face tells Ana that they're calling his name. Not Bucky; White Wolf.

He drops her hand in favor of picking up one of the smallest boys, swinging him around in the air. The child giggles brightly as the others all eagerly wait their turn, pining for his attention. Ana's heart blooms warmth, her cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so wide. Bucky is so at ease here, content and comfortable, and the little pang gently kicks at her stomach. Ana ignores it once more as she is suddenly being pulled toward the lake by three girls, who then force her to sit on a boulder.

Bucky makes his way over to them after several minutes of throwing each child up into the air. He chuckles under his breath when he sees the braids in Ana's hair. The girls have been chatting excitedly, and although she doesn't understand a word, she's content to sit there and listen, taking in the life of the small village. Some of the older villagers offer her friendly waves and smiles, an elderly woman stopping by once to hand her some beads to give to the girls.

"They're saying you have thick beautiful hair." Bucky translate her as he sits down.

One of the youngers boys from earlier had follow him, and climbs into Ana's lap, taking her hands and playing with her fingers. "I figured." She smiles over at him. "They love you here."

"Yeah, I guess they do." He agrees, pinching one of the tan beads in her hair.

"Umfazi!" The girl behind her giggles. "Umfazi!"

Bucky clears his throat and turns to playfully poke the girl in the arm. His cheeks, Ana notices, are tinted red.

"What did she say?" She questions curiously.

"It's not important. She's just being silly."

Ana narrows her eyes, but lets it go in favor of tickling the little boy in her lap

***

After spending a few hours in the village, Bucky brings Ana to his apartment just on the outskirts of the city. It's an open yet cozy concept, despite modern touches and all types of advanced tech she has never seen before; sleek appliances and even an entertainment center. Bucky lights up while talking about it, a brilliant smile on his face, telling her how cool and amazing the tech is and Stark hasn't even begun to scratch the surface of what this country has and can do.

It's here that Ana finally realizes what that panging in her heart is. It feels like she's being shot all over again, steel bullets twisting her insides around. A bitter taste fills her mouth and she swallows it with the painful flutter of her heart as well.

Bucky has found his place here; recovering, becoming healthy, physically, mentally, emotionally. His excitement and awe of every little piece of aspect hasn't dimmed once, despite living here for months.

"You're happy here." Ana states quietly, interrupting him. "You love it here."

Bucky's smile falls from his mouth, a frown setting in as he takes her hands. "I'm happy you're here with me. I'm happy with you."

He leans down to press his lips to her forehead, then trails his mouth down to her temple, her cheek, to her nose. He traces his fingers up from her own, to her arms, until he is cupping her jaw. Ana gazes up at him, her heart pounding against her chest, her cheeks heating up under his touch. He is looking at her with so much love, so much adoration, that any seed of doubt she was beginning to have fades away.

When Bucky presses his lips against hers, it's tantalizing, nearly burning her bones and melting against his solid body. Ana snakes her arms around his waist, pressing him closer, because at one point she couldn't handle three days away from him, and three hundred and twenty-three days was horrible. She grips his shirt, trying to hold off the sudden emotion swirling in her chest. She must gasp against his lips, for Bucky starts to walk her backwards, his tongue prying her lips open.

Something wet escapes her eyes, and Bucky swipes his thumbs over them. She doesn't know how they got from the kitchen to his room, onto the bed, but she doesn't complain. Ana brings her hands up to tangle her fingers into his long hair, when Bucky takes them both, interlocking their fingers and pressing them on either side of her head. He pulls back to stare into her eyes, and Bucky's own are wet.

Ana gives him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I love you, so much, and I'm incredibly happy to see you, you have no idea. Or you probably do. I just..." She trails off, lip quivering.

"It's alright, Ana." Bucky soothes softly. "I get it. I love you, I missed you." He kisses the tip of her nose, then pulls back. "I was in cryofreeze on and off for decades, and from what I remember, I didn't dream too often. This time was different. I dreamt of you, Annie. Your face, your laugh, your touch. Just being with you, and when I woke up, there was a moment where I thought you there with me. When I realized you weren't-"

He breaks off. Ana untangles her left hand, reaching up to wipe a tear on his cheek away. "It was horrible without, and I know that isn't fair for me to say-"

He kisses her to cease her words, and it's a very Bucky like thing to do. It makes her stomach flip.

"I nearly begged them to put me back to sleep after they fixed everything. Because being awake, knowing how far you were from me..." He shakes his head, his eye glazing over for a moment. He blinks, then smiles down at her. "I want to show you how much I missed you. I want to show you how fucking happy I am right now."

Bucky sits back on his heels, and it should be comical, him sitting there naked with how turned on he is, but it’s not. His hungry gaze pins Ana to the spot on the bed, her heart beating wildly as he continues to stare at her, as if he’s seeing her for the first time. Bucky doesn’t need to show her how much he’s missed her or loves her; Ana can feel the emotional energy radiating off his skin. However, he’s still too far from her.

Ana lifts her right leg, hooking her heel over his shoulder, the vibranium base feels smooth and sleek. She tries pulling him in, however, Bucky wraps his fingers around her ankle, moving her foot so he can kiss the Veni Vidi Vici tattoo on the outside of her foot. He then kisses her ankle, trailing his lips up to her calf. He places feather light kisses over her injured knee, the marks from disk faint against her olive skin; the brace had been carefully place to the side.

He continues kissing up her inner thigh, her stomach swooping as Bucky moves closer to her center. He ignores her there, opting to lean over and kiss the left side of her hip, where the scars from years ago begin. He drags his lips across her navel, his beard tickling her skin and kisses the newest scar left behind by a bullet. Bucky moves up to kiss the tattoo on her ribs, her skin erupting in goosebumps as his breath fans over the words.

He skips over her breasts, slightly heaving with her labored breaths. She has to bite her lip to keep from whimpering as he tenderly kisses the second bullet scar on her shoulder. Bucky grazes his teeth over her collarbone, tapping his thumb twice, before trailing his lips up her neck and behind her ear, kissing the lotus flower tattoo.

“Bucky,” Ana gives in with a whine, her mouth dropping open as his hard chest grazes over her nipples. “Please."

“Shhh, baby.” He murmurs over her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “I’ve got you.”

His hands find hers, lacing their fingers together as he finally kisses her lips. He keeps his mouth soft, delicate, the love he feels for her seeping into her bones. She loves him just as much, but it’s been ten months, and that’s ten fucking months too long. Ana wraps her legs around his waist, tugging him close, until his hard cock is pressed between her legs, sliding against her clit.

They both groan into each other’s mouths at the contact. Bucky brakes their hold from their hands, lining himself up, pressing into Ana. He goes slow, gentle despite how wet she is,. It’s been ten months without this, and the rush to feel each other skipped any foreplay. She breaks away from their kiss, throwing her head back and gasping quietly as he fills her, feeling every inch of him. He slips his left arm under her waist, holding her close and locking her there, as he takes her right hand away from her own, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

A soft nip to her neck makes Ana move her head back, meeting Bucky’s blue-eyed gaze. His eyes are blown wide with lust, nearly hidden with the love that is shinning in them. With shaky fingers, Ana brushes his hair back, bringing him down until their foreheads touch. He smiles down at her before capturing her lips once again.

On the first thrust, Bucky keeps it tantalizingly slow and deep, already hitting that sensitive spot insider her. Ana wraps her arms around his strong back, digging her fingers into his shoulders from a mixture of pleasure and dull fleeting pain from his size. Bucky pauses, allowing them to both catch their breaths and adjust, chuckling into each other’s mouths. Ana moans into a kiss after Bucky starts again, slowly continues to roll his hips, keeping each thrust deep and perfect.

Everything feels like it’s on fire, the air nearly sizzling around them. Warmth seeps into her skin from Bucky, igniting every one of her veins and makes her heart pound against her chest. She vaguely wonders if he can feel just how hard it’s beating for him. Ana feels their energies wrap around each other, comforting, warm; home.

Bucky presses her hips down harder, groaning as her walls flutter around his cock for a moment. At this point, he’s barely pulling back, just keeps grinding deep inside her, her clit brushing against his pubic bone. Their kiss is nothing more than open mouth panting, gasps and whimpers being swallowed down once in a while.

It’s all so overwhelming, especially when Bucky begins to whisper sweet words into her lips, into her neck when he has to duck his head down for a moment. Ana’s nails bite into the skin of his back, holding him closer than ever, their bodies fitting together as if the past ten months never happened. It feels like their first time together, though much more emotional, the distance making everything more passionate.

“Bucky,” Ana whimpers, her eyes fluttering. “Babe, please.”

Bucky kisses her fluttering pulse in her neck before reconnecting their foreheads. “I’ve got you, my love.” He murmurs, keeping his gaze locked on hers.

He pulls back further this time, snapping his hips forward, slow and hard and it’s perfect. With each small thrust, the tip of his cock brushes against that spot, making Ana’s toes curl. Bucky continues the leisurely pace, just opting for longer, harder thrusts. It causes waves of pleasure to roll through her stomach, her walls clenching around him tighter and tighter.

He thrusts once, twice, three more times, before the fire and waves crash together, sending Ana over the edge as she comes hard around his cock. She holds onto Bucky, moaning and mewling into his mouth as he kisses her again, her hand slipping from her shoulder into his damp hair. He gasps into her mouth as her walls constrict around him. He snaps his hips two more times before Bucky follows right after her.

They’re panting side by side, slowly coming down from their passionate love making, skin sweaty and cooling from the air around them. Ana’s heart hasn’t stopped pounding since she turned around and saw Bucky standing the lab. She feels sedated now, a bone deep satisfaction she has come to miss. She could lay in this spot forever, except that she’s still too far from Bucky, so she makes herself move.

She hooks her right leg over his thigh, rolling over to press up against his side. She wiggles around, draping her arm over his lower abs, trying to pull herself up his chest. He wraps his arm around her hips.

"What are you doing?" Bucky chuckles, breathy little sounds that make her heart flutter.

"Trying to get as close to you as possible. Keep you next to me." She says, still wiggling.

"Darling, I'm right here. It's not like I'm just going to disappear into thin air." However, he helps shift her around until she’s comfortable.

Ana shushes him. "You never know, and I need to keep you close to me. Forever."

Bucky kisses her eyebrow. "This is real, right? I'm not dreaming again?"

She taps her thumb against his collarbone twice. "I'm real, Bucky.” She moves her hand down to the middle of his chest. “This is real."

He brushes her hair away from her temple, shifting until he’s looking her in the eyes. "Annie. Stay with me?"

Ana feels her entire body light up like the stars, and she can’t be sure if it’s just a metaphor, or if her energy is doing something to make her feel like that. Either way, she smiles softly at the man she loves with all her heart.

“Of course.”

Bucky smiles brightly at her, crinkles and all.

“My Winter Snowflake.”

*******************************************************************

A/N: Umfazi means wife in Xhosa, which is apparently one of the languages spoken in Wakanda. What Shuri explains is from the upcoming comic, Infinity War Prelude.

**To anyone who wants to continue Bucky and Ana’s story feel free to read the Sequel: Delicate Stages of Life Set Ten months after Delicate Stages. Looking into the life of Bucky and Ana. Life in Wakanda is filled with love, laughs, some tears, all emotions, lazy days, goats, hot springs, a soul connection, and something dark that looms over Bucky’s and Ana’s domestic bliss…

#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barns fanfiction #delicate stages #my fic #mcu fanfiction #Bucky Barnes #fanfiction

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lokidokie16 · 7 years ago

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Cue the Fun

Warnings: cringe, extreme cringe. that’s it

A/N: I honestly don’t even know where this came from and I apologise if it is absolutely terrible. But on the bright side I saw BP twice now and I think I’m in love with Shuri. 💙Xx

(If you can’t tell I also love The Greatest Showman)

My eyelids felt as heavy as Thor’s mjolnir as I stared the the black and white screen projected in front of the room as the teachers monotone voice droned on in my ears like white noise. My eyelids slide even lower slowly leaving me in darkness. I was at peace for a few seconds, so close to sleep, when a sharp kick to my shin makes me jerk up in my chair and rub my drowsy eyes. I send a glare to my friend sitting next to me. He just smiles at me and swipes his messy brown hair out of his brown eyes. He slides his book to the side of the desk so I can see a tiny note he has scribbled in the corner of his book.

‘5 min left and then we’re free’

I grin and give him a small thumbs up as I turn my attention back to the teacher.

The bell shook everyone out of their bored trances and they all scrambled to shove their books and pencil cases into their bags and join the stampede of students fighting their way out of the wave of other teens, their only goal is getting away from this school.

“Mr Parker, Mrs/Mr Y/L/N. I expect that homework done tomorrow” Mr Johnson tell us both in a stern voice and a hard look form the teacher. We both answered in sync “Yes, sir” and shuffled out of the room, bags slung over our shoulders. By the time we put our books in the lockers and we got i to the main hallway, it was empty and we both stop and glance at each other. Peter grins and holds out his hand for me to take. I grin back, take his hand, and take off running down the hall dragging him behind me. Due to my enhanced super soldier speed and Peters ability’s we make it to the train in a few minutes and on our way to the Avengers Tower.

We walk through the ground floor and up to the elevator doors and wait for them to open. It was to quiet for my taste so I pull my phone out of my pocket and grin mischievously at Peter.

“FRIDAY? Can you please connect my phone to the speakers?”

“Of course Mr/Mrs Y/N”

I scroll down to my most recent songs and hit play, side eyeing Peter waiting for his reaction. The beat starts and Peter laughs as ‘The Greatest Show’ plays. And then we commence our little show. The elevator doors open just as the song starts and Peter takes the lead

“Ladies and Gents this is the moment you’ve been waiting for”

Nat and Clint are sitting on the couches and roll their eyes as they hear the music and Peter’s imitation of Hugh Hackman. Then it was my turn.

“Been searching through the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor” I flick my hair dramatically and we both take a step out of the elevator. Peters sings:

“And buried in your bones there’s an ache that you can’t ignore, taking your breath, stealing your mind, and all that was real was left behind!” We take in sync dramatic steps towards Nat and Clint, singing the lyrics intensely, as they laugh a little at our shenanigans. Then the rest of the team walks in and just stops dead in their tracks. I grin and glance at Peter silently telling him that the best bit was just about to come. I take a deep breath and sing at the top of my lungs, Peter following soon after.

“So tell me you wanna go! Where it covered in the coloured lights! Where the runaways run the night! Impossible comes true, it’s taking over you! THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOW!!!” We both end our entertaining show with a kneeslide and the team claps as they laugh and Pietro is throwing flowers he got out of nowhere.

“Happy Friday everyone!” I laugh along with the team as they share their favourite moments, and Tony threatens me with the fresh blackmail FRIDAY recorded. This was my family and they are the definition of ‘The Greatest’.

#the greatest showman #the avengers #peter parker #peter x reader #avengers x reader #peter fanfics #avengers fanfics #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction

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unpleasantgh0ul · 4 years ago

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Long time, no post so since the last one I:

Got a new plant. It was clearly not cared for (barely ever watered, cigarettes put out in its pot, the plant itself often dug out of the soil), so I stole it. Seems to be doing okay now.

Tried several games. Didn’t enjoy any enough to keep. Continent of the Ninth Seal was okay for a bit (nice-ish graphics, sometimes interesting combat, the boss in the mines actually required some thinking in order to defeat it), but from what I’ve seen so far it’s just one town as a hub, plus various dungeons, which is not exactly what I enjoy. I like open worlds, or at least “Several large areas connected with portals or something, each with towns/camps in it, PLUS dungeons as a separate thing” worlds.

Reached Cloying Wastes in Riders of Icarus. Not my favorite location, but pretty nice. Gonna try and get Longhorn Bajarn once I’m strong enough for that, since I have a taming mark for that.

Started a heavily modded but almost no cheat singleplayer save on Extinction. Like, I don’t spawn tamed dinos (some wildies for future taming were spawned, though: magmas in The Wasteland (playing with Immersive Taming, so I can actually tame them, no need for wild eggs), tropeos above Sanctuary, quetzals lower above sanctuary (at first I actually looked for them, but they refused to spawn, so...)), or items in it. Try to use “infinitestats” as little as possible, too. Mostly just “fly” for building purposes. It’s better than how my singleplayer usually end up, which is an absolute cheatfest. Already got a giga on that save.

In multiplayer (official PVE): On Valguero (main map I play on), podded my basilo for good (well, I though that at the moment) when the sharks got bleed, because she wasn’t able to handle that, then started to use her again when bleed was taken away from the wild sharks (she handles just the pack bonus perfectly fine), got myself a tek quetz. On Extinction, where I have a side-character for the purpose of obtaining Ext-specific stuff for the main one (Stuff already obtained: 4 enforcers (1 level 7, 1 level 125, 2 basic ones), 3 velonas (initially two, but the male died, so I got a new one. A better one!), two managarmrs, an owl, two gasbags, 3 primitive gasbags saddles, 3 primitive velona saddles, a mana saddle BP, and a taxidermy tool BP), lost the rex I was using for caves because I tried the Ice Cave, and it was fine until near exit my rex got cornered and the bears and yeties were too close to bite. So, no caves for me until I get a new mutation on my rexes after which the old male breeder rex will go to Ext to become a caving rex.

And that’s all news, I guess.

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crystalelemental · 1 year ago

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Unit Teambuilding - Sygna Suit Red

Alright, the BP Pairs are done, and I finished the Red alt discussion. Finally I am done.

........fuck, I forgot about the grid expansions.

General Overview Not content to ruin my day once, Sygna Suit Red also gets something, in the form of his grid expansion. Thankfully, this is far, far less annoying, as DeNA seems to categorize original Kantrio more as "Free pair" than as "PokeFair," so they limited the possibilities. Unfortunately, this is my first time talking about him as a sync pair.

SS Red was the original powercreep unit. Brought about at the half-anniversary well before I was playing, he was miles ahead of everyone else. While SST Red and the new NC Red are certainly bullshit, absolutely nothing compares to the gap in power from those early days. Red was the unit, so significantly that people would prefer off-typing with him and Kantrio instead of using on-type damage for many types, for over two years with the game. The reason for his power was two-fold. One was Blast Burn. Other options had access to four-bar moves, but the lower accuracy combined with Piercing Gaze meant a power boost without the downside. Second, Red's self-setup is immaculate. Two turns of trainer move, Dire Hit+, sync gives him +1 crit, and you're at maximum offensive ability, with maxed out speed. There was very little that compared, so much so that even the first Master Fair in Leon was considered less potent due to his poor self-setup.

Over time, this stopped being as significant. Stronger moves than Blast Burn exist, and better self-setup certainly exists among limited pairs. Red didn't strictly need this help, but it's not entirely unwarranted. He fell off a bit. So to keep him relevant...they gave him some cosmetic tools.

Soften Up, Sharp Entry, Solar Flare 2, Sync Thinker, Standfast 9, and TM: Propulsion. All of these are solidly mid. At no point has Red ever thought to himself gee, I sure wish I could Flare Blitz right now. Sharp Entry is nice for easier setup on that first sync, but Soften Up isn't worth the price of getting to it. Sync Thinker is funny for the kaboom after sync, but it's one use per rotation so it's not the same as, I dunno, a multiplier. That's really the big loss; Red still has no natural multipliers for move damage, which is his big draw. Meanwhile Lance and Alder are out here getting fat 30% free boosts on goddamn Hyper Beam. The tradeoff is Propulsion, which means Red can now fast ramp with any other source of -1 cooldown. Which is great, except that one of Red's defining features is his 3-turn self-setup. So if you go for a fast-ramp, he's support reliant now.

Again, the grid is not the worst there's ever been, but it's very noticeably limited compared to what contemporaries have received. Like, not even Burn effects off Heat Wave for Gauntlet purposes. Just very small, almost superficial upgrades that don't seriously change how he was playing in the first place. Which I love. He'll never be bad, sadly for me, but at least this form will never see the light of top tier performance again.

EX and Move Level? There are people that don't have him 3/5 EX? Weird, man. Anyway, mine's now 3/5 for sad reasons involving banner sharing, but I don't EX him and he can do alright.

Team 1: SS Red, SS Morty, Eevee Lucas/NC Leaf This is the more or less defining set. SS Morty is Red's best partner by miles, while Eevee Lucas supplies special defense debuffing and even eases Red's setup if you're going for Propulsion sets. NC Leaf is a solid alternative, packing even more immunities for the team and extra Sun setting. But also she has Kanto Pride and Potion. Which means that this is like the only time Flare Blitz SS Red makes any kind of sense. That said, his trainer move only gives attack if he's already mega evolved, so I don't really think it's optimal.

Team 2: SS Red, Lodge Dawn/BP Janine, Blaine If you're going for F2P, this is the set. SS Red hits like a truck even at 1/5 thanks to Blast Burn, and a little Sun application will power that up quite well. Blaine has a ton of matched theme skills and that coveted Sun. Lodge Dawn and BP Janine are really nice partners, thanks to Team Sharp Entry, but each has their own utility. Janine can easily buff his offense to max, so after one Dire Hit+ he gets blasting. Dawn offsets the defense drop on his trainer move, and can run Mind Games 2 as a lucky skill to debuff defenses. Up to preference.

Final Thoughts Again, I've been a this a while today, so I'm cutting it a little short. Red has very little utility under his belt, and exists to sync under Sun and spam Blast Burn. Thanks to effective self-setup, he is able to do this with minimal consideration to partners. I could talk about the Propulsion set, but I am very opposed to 5/5ing Red. I don't think it's actually worth it. Besides, the only adjustment is "bring someone who also buffs crit," and Morty can do that fine.

#unit teambuilding #sygna suit red

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livesindaydreams · 7 years ago

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Venting ahead: Can someone please explain to me how a stomach flu leads to a weight lecture??? Anyone. Please. Because i m reaching the point where i ll sneeze and he ll go "you should do sth about the weight. Better, you will do sth about the weight" (like yeah now that you, repeatedly, phrase it this way i see the light. Thanks really.) A little bit of explaining, when i get the flu (all three times in the past fourteen years) i sometimes get dizzy and maybe have a couple of fainting spells (quite mild actually to the point where i worry more about my glasses rather than the dimming in my sight), best guess my blood pressure drops drastically for maybe a minute if i try to do sth strenuous (fun fact, completely impossible to be used as a logical argumemt but still a bit ironic, my blood pressure temds to be on the lower side especially when counting in my weight. Hiwever the most stable measurements were taken when i d hit absolute bottom regarding my weight, now that i m about twenty pounds lighter my average bp has dropped as well) Back on track cause i went erratically off of it, i know my weight is probably going to bite me in the ass someday and i also know the way i use food is deeply unhealthy in more ways than one. But how does a fifty year old guy, obese himself, with a more dangerous body type than mine (unlike him the entire fat in my body isn t chocking my vital organs), heavy smoker, with a valve that jasn t quite pressed down all the way for at least a decade now, not forgetting that last year he got a bp of 175/110 because he jogged forty meters slightly uphill, lecture me about my weight? And what exactly does he think laying down the rule will achieve?

#getting really tired of this

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term6itmedia · 5 years ago

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Progression of M.A.R.S (Weeks 51-54)

The penultimate project closes on a note containing determination... here’s how I made Olympian!

Start

The Olympian started out as a simplistic base, like all other projects do. To start out with, I made a tile sheet in Photoshop:

Looks very small, doesn’t it? That is because it is a pixel-art, or as I call it, pix-art.

After creating the tile sheet, I got to working on the main area of the game... a track. After doing that, I created multiple segments of the character that would be used in the game, which I would use as frames.

If you don’t know what frames are, picture a cake cut into quarters. The first quarter of the cake would be seen to start with. When certain circumstances apply, the second quarter of the cake would show up, with the first quarter disappearing behind it. The process would continue until you got to the final quarter, after which it will go back to the first quarter. These same principles apply to any sprite sheet, as multiple frames are drawn on one sheet, but manipulated by whatever game engine is used to show a specific frame.

Then I put the character into the game. I didn’t want to work on the animations at the time, so I did the only other thing I could have - work on the base mechanics for the game!

How it works is that when the RUN button is pushed (which would be A on a controller or Space bar on keyboard), the player speed will be increased. Overtime, the speed drastically decreases to give a sense of realism to the game, like a person cannot keep building up speed and then run across the field at ridiculous speeds.

This took a while to get to a more realistic and balanced level, as at some times the players would be moving too fast or too slow.

Creating CPU Players

This was probably one of the greatest challenges I've ever faced while making a game... computer-based players. If you don’t know what that means, it means that programmed intelligence controls the players, not other people. Every non-playable character uses the same code as a regular player, but has random branches to go off of, which control how the player works internally.

I was going to give players speed based on their look, but I felt like that would take more time than I was willing to invest, so I made a difficulty levelling system:

The names of the difficulties listed come from popular terms used for runners, particularly athletes in training showing off to their relatives.

Couch Potato is someone who spends too much time sitting down on furniture, hence “couch”.

Slow Coach is someone who is trying their hardest from their view, but is incredibly slow to the other competitors.

Mediocre is a term for average-levelled performance.

Bolt is a reference to the fastest runner in the world, Usain Bolt.

Speedy Gonzales is what some runners get called by viewers who think they are fast, but nowhere near fast enough to outrun them. It is also a reference to the fast mouse from Looney Tunes, who is allegedly the fastest mouse in Mexico. For perspective on how fast he is meant to be (if you don’t know), imagine you’re sprinting around a track. About 4 seconds after you’ve set off, Speedy would have already finished, which is more than half of Usain Bolt’s world record.

Each difficulty has a maximum speed, so it is not possible for a fast player to lose to Couch Potato CPU players unless they do absolutely nothing or fall asleep trying.

After a lot of testing and analysing, I’ve come up with a table which shows the average that the CPU players finish at.

As you can see, the results vary between values very far when it comes to the 110-Metre Hurdles event. This is because of how random the random-number-generation (RNG) is. Not one CPU player will finish the race first upon the other two, or jump over every single hurdle. Long jump is absent from this list as I didn’t feel the need to implement CPU player AI for that event specifically.

Creating a Buttons-Per-Second system (BPS)

We all know how great button-mashing can be, it can be used to get ridiculous scores and do some post-game events early in other video games, but how fast can we possibly be?

I have decided to create a system that measures an average of how fast the player is mashing the buttons, as it will provide statistics for a player’s performance and overall skill level.

In this screenshot, you can see it in action. The meter on the right shows the overall level of speed that player is going at currently, with the arrow pointing to the exact number. Numbers 5, 10 and 15 are listed on the meter, while MIN is 0 and MAX is 20 - which means I don’t really expect anyone to get higher than 20, not even the fastest players.

However, this wasn’t enough to show how good players really were. After some brainstorming, I came up with an idea - to include a final average and the difficulty level associated with said average.

After pressing the button a certain amount of times (114 to be exact, because that is how many presses are needed to clear the 100-metre sprint in-game), the results show up. This result is taken from time checks in the game’s code:

If the time is over 22.5 seconds, you will get Couch Potato.

If the time is between 19.5 and 22.5 seconds, you will get Slow Coach.

If the time is between 16.5 and 19.5 seconds, you will get Mediocre.

If the time is between 13.5 and 16.5 seconds, you will get Bolt.

If the time is under 13.5 seconds, you will get Speedy Gonzales.

Whatever difficult appears on-screen at this time tells the player what is the highest difficulty they can easily play, with some error that doesn’t account for qualification time, but gets close enough for the main player of that difficulty.

As for inspiration behind this “speed test”, I was inspired by a clicking speed test known as the MCRPG Kohi Click Test (http://www.mcrpg.com/kohi-click-test).

That, and I wanted to give players a chance to warm up on something that isn’t an event, which also serves as a good test for skill level, so they don’t get surprised by the CPU players running at speeds they cannot achieve.

As you can see in both of these screenshots, I can button-mash just over 14 times a second, which means I can easily clear the highest difficulty, which ALSO means I took slower players into consideration, hence the skill level options.

But enough about speed tests, onto the events!

Constructing the player system

I worked on both the CPU and the main player systems at the same time, but I never really covered the player system yet.

The player and CPU systems work in the same class, but the player is excluded from the AI because of it’s set ID. When this ID is chosen, the code will get out of the function and go to the next player before anything happens.

If the player takes too long to finish the race, when the timer goes past 40 seconds, the event will end immediately with no exceptions.

Being the complete mad person I am, I wanted to try and see if it was possible to end the race at exactly 40 seconds, as it ends when it goes over that. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that it is impossible to finish on exactly 40 seconds (after spending about 2 hours trying), but a time close to that can be achieved (39.99 is my best).

The long jump event has no timer however, but there is a certain distance you must jump in order to qualify. Because I thought that some players faster than me might be able to achieve ridiculous distances (my best is 10.93m), I made the map so large that not even the best players can get past the end.

I actually tested this with a macro that can do 60 button presses a second, and the furthest distance that can be achieved is somewhere around 25 metres. Then again, I don’t expect anyone to get that far to begin with, but it is there just in case it happens one day.

Confronting the hardest challenges

Making the final event, 110-Metre Hurdles, was a huge challenge to create. Mostly to do with the colliders involved.

If you don’t know how this is structured, the hurdle have a collider attached them, which means that if anything were to collide with it, it will follow behaviour that is either scripted or pre-built.

So, when an athlete collides with the hurdle, the hurdle will slow them down greatly. The player can continue, but they’re put at a huge disadvantage. There is no time penalty for hitting a hurdle, but the player has to act fast if they want to qualify after hitting a few of them.

So how is the athlete going to get over the hurdle without proper controls? Are all of them going to collide and fall to the ground? Well... no!

Using this function in the game’s code, the player can jump over the hurdle and miss the collider (which is placed a little bit lower than the very middle of the hurdle).

The player gains a little bit of speed out of the jump, which makes sense because in real life, you really need that extra push to jump over a large object or cross large gaps. This is also because players button-mashing at lower speeds can gain the speed required to jump over the hurdle without hitting the collider, because you can hit it on the way down too, much like real-life hurdles.

Audio

Because the game is made in a retro style, it would make sense that I did retro-based audio for it. Luckily, I found a way to do that. See the video for more:

youtube

Publishing

Publishing a game is possibly one of the most nerve-wracking things you can do when making a game. Whether it’d be for Steam, Epic Games Store or Itch, it is a difficult choice, because you need to decide whether or not your game is done. Luckily, because I work in a class of 20+ people, I had a few try out the game, including my lecturers. After the testing process, I did a few bug fixes... and now it’s time to publish it!

I used itch.io to do this. Here’s how you upload your own game to itch.io:

Create an account.

Go to “Upload new project”. This can be found in the dropdown menu in the top right of the page.

Provide details about your game. Is it for racers? Is it a puzzle game? Is it a game that has no ideas whatsoever?

You now have the option to provide your game for free, or you can charge people for it. There is an option to accept donations as well, should you wish to provide it for free for whatever reason.

Upload the files of your game, but DON’T UPLOAD THE SOURCE FILES! Build your game first, then upload the executable file!

Publish, and BOOM! Your game is now available to download anywhere in the world.

I’m quite happy I did this, as this was a new barrier I knew I was going to have to tackle at some point in the future (as I’m going to be an indie games developer when I graduate).

Final Reflections

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Personally, I really like how I structured the M.A.R.S project. While the drawing outside of the digital workshops were entirely irrelevant to my final outcome, I think I managed it very well.

If anything went wrong over this time, it would be the trial and error I went through to get certain parts of the game working. The CPU AI was a bit tricky at first, but that was because I didn’t know how to exclude certain player IDs. And now I do. The hurdles were the hardest part alongside the long jump event, the jumping mechanic was difficult to construct because of floor collision detection and air movement.

The true question is, has anything gone wrong to the point where I said “Nah, I’m going to scrap this.”? The answer to that is no, because I planned out everything as I was creating it, and I found new ways to overcome problems that I have run into but failed to do in one way, and possibly another.

If you want to play the game for yourself: https://hdifentertainment.itch.io/olympian

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tisfan · 7 years ago

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Medical Stuff (and how it might affect the fics you love)

If you missed it, I ended up in the Emergency Room yesterday with severe anaphylactic shock.

Short Short Form: Some of the fics that I write by myself might be late posting. (this includes nothing that @27dragons and I post together, like Sandbridge or Communal Kitchen)

All American Road Trip will decidedly be late. I probably won’t post it for at least another two weeks; I’m recovering from illness this week, and I’ll be on vacation next week.

It is possible the Fruit of Our Labors (September’s Holiday Spending) might be a week late. I’m about halfway done writing it, and I KNOW it’s a cliffhanger. I’m really sorry. This month has been crazy.

Everything else should be posting on time.

below the cut for deets on my medical stuff, if you’re interested. I’m tagging people who sent me condolence messages last night, just do you know what’s going on. if I forgot someone or didn’t tag you, sorry about that.

@justalurkr @damej @avidreader6 @riren1827 @novarain01 @lilragekitten

@celtic7irish @katland08 @quarra @marvelingjules @whatisluniana @bastlynn

@downwarddnaspiral @thudworm @chiyume @mythaeological @petronellarose @zerokrox-blog @echosiriusrumme @lola381pce @cr3v

@crystallized-iron @dreamcatchersdaughter @nikexiphos @miss-kitty-fantastico @ajanamyth @wrenchirps @feelingsinwinter @bluetag222 @menatiera @micheca @readingfanficsblog @summerpipedream

Thanks to all of you; I was reading your messages last night while I was in the ER and bored (and in pain, like... how does that work? you’d think being in pain would be more interesting or something.)

It’s possible that the anaphylactic shock was caused by the medication I took, but as I’ve taken it before without reaction, they think that’s not likely. My husband thinks it make have been a cross-contamination with the drink fountain and the Burger King, since they carry Hi-C fruit punch, which contains Concentrated Pineapple juice. If that got in my cup (and I was drinking it when I took the pills) that’s probably what caused the reaction.

I started with the hives and made that first post yesterday. Went downstairs to sleep it off after taking 2 benedryls, but it just kept getting worse. My lips swelled up so badly that I have cuts inside my mouth from where my teeth were forced into the inside of my lips. (that’s very painful, just do you know.)

My face swelled, making me dizzy and hard for me to see, the way my eyes were squinted. I have 2 black eyes today from the swelling.

I asked my husband to take me to the doctor, got up to go pee before we left and ended up vomiting for about ten minutes straight.

We went to the nearby urgent care, who was getting my information when I started having breathing trouble and passed out. I do not remember anything until about 10 minutes later when I was throwing up again. I have bruises under my arms where the orderly kept me from falling on my face and breaking my nose.

The urgent care jabbed me with an epi pen. (bruise on left thigh. also, because I have a million little red freckles, she couldn’t tell where the injection site was and put the bandaid in the wrong spot. I discovered that this morning when I pulled off the bandaid and the sticky bit was over the scab, which promptly ripped off and started bleeding all over the bed.

They started an IV, gave me some solumedrol and 100mgs of benedryl.

So I’m now on the WTAF drugs all at once. Solumedrol has the side effect of speeding up your brain, epinephrin speeds up your heart, and benedryl knocks you out.

Added to all this: the Doctor tells me “your blood pressure is terrible. it’s 80.”

Me: “That’s normal for me, about 110/80.” (I’ve been told this is a little low)

Doctor: No, your blood pressure is 80 over fuck you. We can’t get a read on it. You’re going into serious shock here. We’re going to send you over to the Emergency Room in an ambulance.

In the ride over to the ER (all of .2 miles. seriously, the Er is right across the FUCKING street and I’m going to end up with a $700 ambulance bill for that...) my IV site got shot to shit, so I have solumedrol and saline solution filling up the space between my muscles and my skin, making my upper arm look like a little goddamn balloon and hurts like all FUCK. This spot; STILL REALLY FUCKING HURTS and is very firm. Which probably means there’s still medication in there leaking into my system very slowly. (when I first saw it yesterday, I desperately wanted a seam ripper to stab myself in the arm so it would all come out. No one listens to me about things like that.)

Also, the whole inside of that elbow is sore and purply-black.

So, they had to put an IV in the OTHER arm. After fussing for almost 20 minutes about my crap veins, they ended up using a 22 pedo needle to get the second shunt started. Which they couldn’t draw any blood out of. They were debating opening a third site in my thigh to do the blood drain, but my thighs were so welted up with hives that they didn’t want to risk it.

They gave me another epi injection (right thigh, also now has a bruise, but at least that nurse put the bandaid in the right place.)

More drugs. At some point, i got fenegren to help with the dry-heaving and bile vomiting that I was still doing. Note: my throat is all torn up from so much vomiting. My voice sounds weird, talking is a little painful, and I’m so thirsty... omg, I drank like a half gallon of water last night.

Which was awkward when I had to go pee, because I couldn’t stand up. Let’s add to the fun and games: I have my period AND bad menstrual cramps and the “gush” whenever I stand up.

Let’s just say there was more than one reason my husband brought me a change of clothes before I left.

By 11pm, I’m admitted to Step Down (Step down from ICU).

I can hardly move. Holding my phone and texting was horrifically painful. (you know that 1-10 scale for pain? I was on the “my pain is so bad I can hardly move”) If I was absolutely perfectly still, it was about a 7.

Because we weren’t SURE what caused the allergic reaction, the hospital refuses to (probably smart) give me any pain medication.

They tried to put a blood pressure cuff on my right arm. I might have had a screaming fit about that. It’s not MUCH better on the left, because it keeps squeezing the IV site. I have a ring bruise on my upper left bicep because the automatic blood pressure cuff takes my BP every 15 minutes. Given the amount of drugs in my system that should have been raising my BP, the fact that it never went over about 139/90 and most of the time stayed very firmly at 97/52 is a little worrisome. ADD to this that my pulse was over 120 most of the night and refused to GO DOWN to anything lower than 90 unless I was ASLEEP...

I sent my husband home around 2 to get some sleep and called him back in around 7am, when they first started talking about getting me home.

I did not actually get home until around 1:30 this afternoon.

I am feeling a LOT better. I can breathe, I can walk, and I’m relatively coherent.

I will say last night was probably one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life and I’d like to point out that I have broken my leg in 5 fucking places at one time and the ER doctor SET IT WRONG.

Just so you know, I have a basis for comparison on This Fucking Hurts.

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heartfelthotinhouston · 5 years ago

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Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut!

Bill Rapp here with the Heartfelt and Hot in Houston Blog, and this is our newest segment: Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! The Fed cut rates 25 basis points last week. Generally, rate drops are positive for the economy, but the market did not seem to be overly excited by the outcome. Wayne Himelsein, one of my top managers, says when it comes to the Fed the old adage buy on the rumor and sell on the news applies. Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! Ken Kam: I would have thought that a rate cut would be great news for the market, but the reaction was far from extraordinary. While I know you don’t really infuse broader economic variables into your stock-picking process, do you have any wisdom for us on the broader market’s behavior? Wayne Himelsein: Yes, I definitely do. This is one of those instances that I want to refer to one of the great adages I used to hear floating around the trading desk back in the ’90s when I sat amongst many older and wiser individuals than myself. The quotation of relevance was “buy on rumor, sell on news”. This idea is far more interesting than one would initially assume, or take from it, at first glance. Let’s jump further in to absorb the extent of what it’s saying. And to be clear, trading desk adages are not necessarily absolute truths, but they are most certainly valuable, as the collective wisdom of deep experience in the capital markets. Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! Kam: I’ve definitely heard that before, but would love to hear more about it from you; you always have a great way of deconstructing the deeper context. At the same time, I’d love to hear how this idea may influence your stock-picking process? Himelsein: Thanks Ken, and to that end, I’m excited to elaborate! So, a quick read provides us with the simple, and frequently applicable idea that markets tend to preemptively trade to where the consensus believes the outcome will fall, that is, to expectations. What this does is to leave us with the worst possible circumstances for the actual results. The most ideal kind of investing is where there is an asymmetric payoff, or more easily understood, where there is more upside to be had, than downside to be lost. This is what we all seek when we search for a “good” investment. In even simpler terms, we are willing to risk $1 to make $2 but would be quite silly to risk $2 in order to only make $1. To this end, the lean of the asymmetry (i.e. which way the favor tilts), should play a great role in our investment decision. Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! Kam: That makes perfect sense. And that’s exactly what I look for in a manager, where over the course of time, they make far more than they lose. In fact, whenever my clients look at a single down month of a manager, my comment is always to judge it relative to the magnitude of run ups. So how does this risk/reward tilt play into the bad circumstances? Himelsein: If we then go back to this idea, that the market is buying on the rumor (in this recent instance, of a rate cut), and will sell on the news, then the news event itself is upside down, providing us with an asymmetric opportunity in the wrong direction. If the news turns out to be in line with expectations, the market has now more up to go, it just achieved what everyone expected which was very much part of the excitement of buying coming into the event (the “buy on rumor”). But if it the rumor did not pan out, then it disappoints, and the market falls heavy because, at that point, it has missed expectations. So to summarize, we either sell of a little (on meeting expectations), or sell off a lot (on missing expectations), so either bad or worse! Therein lies the worst possible circumstance. Kam: Wow, I hadn’t thought about it that way; buy on rumor, sell on the news almost guarantees a bad risk/reward trade. But then, by your logic, if the fed had cut 50 basis points, then it would exceed expectations and be great, right? Himelsein: Great question. And two possible answers; one, yes, that would have exceeded expectations and so possibly have been the driver for the market soaring higher, because, after all, lower cost of capital drives growth. At the same time, the second possibility is that the market might react with concern, as a 50 bps cut signifies real concern on the part of the Fed. At that point, investors might actually be fearful, thinking “what’s so wrong so as to motivate such a big move?” With that in mind, we very interestingly might get to an almost 50/50 odds of an upside move. Furthermore, we have to assess the broader context. Given how low rates already are, as well as negative rates already circling around global markets, a significant drop, at this juncture, would start to feel quite concerning to markets. To state the obvious, at some point lowering is a bad thing! Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! Kam: That is very true, and I share that sentiment. The easy example we all look to is Japan, which has demonstrated decades of a slow economy. Now tell us, given this backdrop, do you do anything different in stock picking? And what do you like here? Himelsein: Not really. I have mentioned in prior discussions that the macro does not meaningfully influence my individual stock picks, but does play a bit into the sector choices. My prior examples have been to look away from some of the high flying technology names and focus a bit more on core consumer staples or energy, or conceptually, some more of the necessary backbone of the economy. To that end, I actually want to talk a bit, and re-up, on a stock I talked about on September 1st, namely, Estee Lauder. My reason for selecting this stock to talk further about is specifically to address one of the most powerful lessons in investing; when we decide to buy a stock, we make that same decision every next day we own it. And given this fact, how do we continue to best judge its worthiness? Kam: I agree with you there, and I recall from prior discussions you’ve focused on whether it upholds to the reason you entered; if so stay, if not, move on. It’s sort of stop-loss based on your well-reasoned entry, is that correct? Himelsein: Yes, that’s exactly right. So let’s look at that. First and foremost, from a pure price perspective, it's moved down about 2.5% while the market has gained roughly that amount over the same period, resulting in about a 5% spread. At first look, that’s awful. But, of course, we dig deeper. For this reason, I’d like to stand on the heels of the wider angle lens I discussed in the September 1st article, and only focus on the last few weeks, thereby honing in on the wide-angle lens. In the prior article, the latest data point that I addressed was “the big surge upward on August 19th” and how much I liked that new level. It had made a large gap up that day (upon a favorable earnings announcement) and then, per my take, was in a new territory, ready to climb to new heights off this big move. Kam: I very much recall that discussion. And yet since that time has not necessarily done so. I do see that it made a new high just two weeks later, but then retracted back down. Do you still believe it will do as you thought, that your thesis stands? Himelsein: I definitely do, and this is why. While it’s down for the month, and while the S&P is up nicely for the month, and since making a new high (if I count right, that’s three strikes against!), it has concurrently shown us something beautiful. If we look at the low of the infamous August 19th gap and related upwards surge, it was precisely at $191.31. If we then follow it forward this month, infusing all three of our strikes, we see it falling two weeks ago after the new high but then starting to form a firm base this last week. And not just any base, but quite specifically, the lowest close on the month was at exactly $191.34 on Tuesday, and then the next day, $192.02, then $192.92, and finally on Friday, $191.91. Amazingly, not once did it crack our beloved gap bottom of $191.31. We certainly came within 3 entire cents but held strong and continued base building. This screams buyers at this level. The bigger kicker takes us all the way back, full circle, to our earlier discussion on the beauty of an asymmetric trade, where the odds are greatly in one’s favor. Estee Lauder is at that point! One can either buy more here, or hold what you already own, and participate in many months or years of future gain, but if it breaks by just a dollar, get out and move on (although an interesting buy again if it should move further down into the mid $170’s). And there you have it, maintaining its level, honoring our prior thesis, and offering us a highly favorable risk/reward right here, right now. Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! My Take: Wayne has an 18+ year track record delivering nearly twice S&P 500's return over that period. Few managers have outperformed the market for as long and by as wide a margin. Selling On The-Fed's-Rate-Cut! That is all for today folks from the Heartfelt & Hot In Houston Blog, make it a great day! The inspiration for today’s edition came from this original article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kenkam/2019/09/22/selling-on-the-feds-rate-cut/#43ae160b5c2c If you are seriously considering moving right now you need to take action right now and talk to a reputable Real Estate & Mortgage Broker today, please call 281-222-0433 or visit: https://www.zillow.com/lender-profile/BillRappMortgageViking/ https://www.billrapponline.com/ https://twitter.com/BillRappRE https://caliberhomeloans.com/wrapp https://onlineapp.caliberhomeloans.com/?LoanOfficerId=21493 http://www.HoustonRealEstateBrokerage.com https://mortgageviking.billrapponline.com/ https://highcostarea.billrapponline.com/ https://commercial.billrapponline.com/ https://renovationvideo.billrapponline.com/ https://doctorvideo.billrapponline.com/ https://sba.billrapponline.com/ https://veteransvideo.billrapponline.com/ https://fha203h.billrapponline.com/ https://privatemoney.billrapponline.com/ https://rei-investor.billrapponline.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsF3Rh4Akd1OAOAgTmzgqQg Read the full article

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